Silver Star
by Northern Lights907
Summary: Ben Solo was destined to become a Jedi. Saya was raised to become a Healer in the Healers Order. Ben swore to her he would find a new path so they could be together. But neither of them could see what that path would truly hold for them... *I own none of the Star Wars created characters. Story begins in the Force Awakens. Will eventually go into The Last Jedi*
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The sun was bright and unforgiving as Saya ran across the sand. Sweat and tears ran down her face as she ignored the screaming of the Superior Mother behind her.

"Saya! Come back now or the lashing will be worse than before!"

For once, she didn't care about the punishment. She only cared about getting away. Away from the Superior Mother, away from the girls who tormented her, and away from the Healers Order. The yelling faded away and she ran up the small sand dune to her favorite escape spot. The large tree at the top was the only thing of color Saya saw besides the dull colors of sand and the training temple. She loved the beautiful green leafs that adorned it. The Healers order uniform was plain. A tan dress that covered her from the neck down. Modesty was a must. Anything else was indecent and impure. Only once she took her vows would she be permitted to wear white.

The Healers order could be traced far back to the same beginning as the Jedi. The Healers Order for those women gifted in the healing arts. If the force was not strong enough to make them Jedi, they often turned to the Healers Order. Sworn to neutrality in the galaxy, they served all across the planets. Sworn to only love the Order and to dedicate their lives to helping others. But the blood of the original healers ran dry. Now the Order was seen as nothing more than glorified nurses.

She wrapped her arms around the tree and continued to silently cry. If she could speak or make noise, she had no doubt she would be screaming. She had lived her entire life with the Healers Order, but her formal training began last year. All the girls were trained on this planet before going to the High Temple to make their vows. Five years of training was required. But she was hardly through her first year of formal training.

All she could remember was being with the Healers Order. She was often reminded by the Superior Mother that she was thrown on the Temples doorstep when she was only a babe.

"Your parents did not want you. The world rejected you. Be thankful the Order can make use of you"

Had she been able to speak, maybe she could ask more. She rubbed her throat gently, tears still slowly rolling down her face. She was born without a voice. No one knew why. The other healers had no answers.

"Perhaps you are not blessed with a voice because you are blessed with the ability to heal."

That was true at least. Saya far surpassed the other girls in the healing arts. She did not know why. She heard one elder whispering to another that perhaps Saya held the blood of the original women of the order. But that must be impossible, as the order is sworn to chastity and took the vow to never marry.

She wiped away her tears and sat against the tree. As far as she knew, no other healer knew of this spot. She often came to the tree at night, slipping out to get away from the others while they slept. She looked down at her hands and sighed. Large red lashes across her hands. For every question on an exam she got wrong, she received a lash. She was terrible at the written work, but excelled in the physical practices of healing. Many of the girls took pleasure at taunting her for her lack of knowledge in the written works. However, the lashes would soon fade. Saya never knew why, but she not only held the power to heal others but herself as well. This angered the Superior Mother, as she felt her physical punishments would not show and continue to remind Saya of her of past failures in the written work.

She looked across the sand and wished she could come here during the day, but they would notice her missing. She could not stay long. They would come and find her spot.

"Excuse me"

Saya jumped to her feet and turned, wide-eyes to the figure behind her. She was so lost in thought, she never heard anyone approach her.

The boy was tall with dark hair and eyes. She couldn't help but think he was handsome. He wore a tan tunic and black pants.

 _There are men on this planet?_

She took a step back as he took one towards her.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I've seen you here before. But usually at night. I never approached because I didn't want to frighten you"

Her eyes went wide. If he saw her, did the Superior Mother as well?

"Please, I see you here crying at night. I've always wanted to meet you. To speak to you."

He approached her near the tree. She stood her ground. She didn't know what he wanted. But she was sure that if he hurt her, she has had worse.

"Are you here with the Healers Order? I heard they are not far from us"

 _Us?_

She looked around, not seeing anything around.

As if sensing what she was doing, he turned and pointed in the direction he came from.

"Over that way, not too far is the Jedi Training Temple."

She couldn't help but take a few steps towards the direction, and squinted her eyes. Yes, in the distance she could see buildings.

"Will you please tell me who you are? What's your name?"

She turned to him and didn't realize how close she came to him. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She dropped her head, small tears in her eyes again.

"What's wrong?"

She looked at him and put a hand on her throat, hoping he would understand.

"You can't speak?"

She nodded, the tears escaping her eyes. The first kind person she has ever met, and she cannot even speak to him.

He took another step to her, taking her hand.

"It's alright. Please don't cry."

 _No it isn't. Nothing is alright with me._

"I don't believe that is true."

She blinked and looked up at him

 _Did you just hear me? I-I mean, you heard what I said? What I was thinking!?_

"Yes. Yes I did. Has that not happened before?"

She shook her head and clutched his hand tighter.

 _No! You're the first!_ She held his hand and smiled at him. _Are you training to be a Jedi? Maybe that's why! Jedi can read thought, right? That's what the stories say…_

"That-that could be why." He gave her a small smile. "You're beautiful when you smile. What is your name?"

She continued to smile at him

 _Saya. My name is Saya_

He grabbed her other hand and looked into her eyes.

"I'm Ben. Ben Solo"

-Present Day-

Saya jerked awake from her nap and wanted to scream in frustration. It had been a while since she has dreamt of that day. And every time she was dreaming of him, he cursed whatever God was out there for letting her wake up and forcing her back to the present.

 _He's gone. My Ben is gone and I'm stuck in the Healers Order for the rest of my life._

She wiped the small tears in her eyes and rose from her small cot. She adjusted her white dress and pulled her long silver hair back up into a ponytail. She had been assigned to this village only a week ago and was doing well helping the sick and the elderly. Most healers in her age group consider a planet this size an insult but Saya was thankful. Everyone here was very kind to her.

She walked out of her small hut and saw that darkness had taken over the sky. She slept on odd hours, always making herself available. No matter what time it was, she had to be there for whoever needed her abilities.

Before she could take another step, one of the younger boys ran to her, panting.

"Saya, Lor San Tekka is asking for you! He says he needs you right away!" She nodded and rushed to his home. As soon she approached, she knocked on the outside of his hut.

"Come in"

She entered and saw Lor San Tekka sitting by his fire next to a young man she had never seen before.

"Saya, thank goodness you re here." He beckoned her closer. "This is Poe Dameron of the resistance."

He gave her a smile and reached his hand out. "Nice to meet you."

She smiled and gently shook his hand, then took a spot next to San Tekka.

"Saya, something is happening. It is no longer safe for you here. This young man will be taking you and the information he needs back to the resistance."

She couldn't hide the look of confusion.

"I know this is sudden, but the First Order is coming here. I know the Healers Order is neutral, but they may not see it that way. Please go with him. The resistance will help get you back to the Order of Healers Temple."

She began violently shaking her head, taking his hand.

 _No! Please, I cannot leave you or these people!_

He gave her a smile. He knew she could not speak, but he was the only one in the village that seemed to understand her.

"Saya, you are too pure for this world. If I cannot save this village, let me at least help you so you can go on to save others."

San Tekka looked to Poe, who was sitting there looking confused.

"Saya cannot speak. But she has a heart of gold and will go on to help many others. There's no healer like her in the Order. She is far more gifted in the healing arts than any of the other women in the Order."

Poe nodded "I can fit one person in my ship with me. But we need to go now."

Without warning, the hut began to rattle and the wind began to violently pick up.

Poe jumped from his seat and looked out of the hut.

"The First Order is here!"

Poe turned and San Tekka thrust a small drive at him.

"Take it and get Saya to safety!"

Without another word, Poe grabbed Saya's hand and ran out of the hut, practically dragging her behind him.

Saya looked around as everyone was scrambling to get to safety. Villagers were running into each other as several ships landed around them.

A villager ran into her, knocking her down and separating her and Poe. She looked up and he turned to look for her. Once he made eye contact, she waved him away hoping he would understand.

 _Just go! Leave me! I need to help these people!_

She didn't know if he understood what she was trying to say, or if he just knew he had to leave then and there. He yelled to her he was sorry, and rushed towards the direction she assumed was his ship. As she stood back up, storm troopers were rounding up all the villagers around the large bonfire in the middle of the village. She didn't bother waiting for one to grab her. She ran toward the villagers and knelt down with them, helping as many people as she could with her powers. Most of the villagers only had cuts and bruises, which were healed in seconds of her touching them.

 _Where is San Tekka!?_

Looking around, she saw him standing in the front of the group. He was standing in front of a tall masked figure wearing all black.

"Look how old you've become"

She quietly made her way to the front without them noticing, a bad feeling in her heart.

"Something far worse has happened to you"

"You know what I've come for"

She was finally close to him. She continued kneeling down, ready if San Tekka needed her. The bad feeling inside her was getting worse. The masked man was more intimidating up close.

"I know where you come from, before you called yourself 'Kylo Ren'".

Saya shuddered. A chill went down her spine. She knew that name. She HATED that name.

"The map to Skywalker. We know you found it. And now you're going to give it to the First Order."

San Tekka did not back down. "The First Order rose from the dark side. You did not."

"I'll show you the dark side"

"You may try. But you cannot deny the truth that is your family"

"You're so right"

Without warning, a red lightsaber appeared and slashed San Tekka across the chest. The villagers screamed and Saya jumped for San Tekka.

 _NO! NONONONONO!_

She caught him before he fell to the ground. She ignored the screams around her and even ignored the storm troopers guns pointing at her. She quickly put her hand on his chest and focused all of her power on his wounds, praying she could save him in time.

"S-Saya…" He whispered before closing his eyes.

 _No! Fight! You have to fight! STAY WITH ME!_

It was too late. Perhaps she used too much energy in helping the other villagers, but she couldn't heal him in time. He was gone. Saya sobbed and continued to push more of her power into him, but her heart told her it was too late.

"Saya"

She was startled when the masked man said her name. It was deep and commanding. Saya felt tired and dizzy from the effort of trying to save him but she had enough energy to glare at him. Without thinking, she used her bloody hand to wipe her tears away and glared up at the masked monster.

 _You murdered an innocent old man and you stole my happiness from me! You bastard!_

Time seemed to last forever as they looked at one another. She continued to glare at him, eyes daring him to strike her down as well.

"Sir, she's from the Healers Order. What should we do with her? Leave her with the other villagers?"

The silver clad storm trooper seemed to pull him from his trance of her face.

"Take her onboard the ship"

Before she could process what he said, two storm troopers grabbed her arms and began forcing her onto the ship.

She looked back to the villagers, who were screaming

"No!"

"She is neutral!"

"Let her go!"

The last thing she saw before losing sight of the scene was Kylo Ren turning to stop a blaster bolt.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Saya was placed in a very small room she could only guess was for prisoners. She sighed and sat on the small bench in the room. She looked down at her hands, covered in dried blood. Her dress was soaked as well. She felt her face dry out from the blood she foolishly wiped onto her face when trying to wipe away tears.

She failed San Tekka and the village.

She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, trying not to cry anymore.

 _Will they kill me? The Healers Order is neutral. We serve the resistance and the first order. That probably doesn't matter to them._

Death didn't matter to Saya. If they did execute her, perhaps then she would be with her Ben again.

Her thoughts of the past caused her to begin to drift away…

-Flashback-

They made a pact to meet every evening. As soon as lessons were done and the sun was down, Saya snuck out and met with Ben under the tree. They discovered the only way he could hear her was when he held her hand.

Ben tried several times to hear her without having to hold her hand. Tonight, he would try again.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded.

"Ok. Just keep thinking until I say. I've been practicing and might be able to hear you."

She nodded again as he closed his eyes

 _Ben? Ben! Anything?_

His eyes remained closed

 _I appreciate the effort, but can't we just hold hands?_

Ben didn't move. Saya sighed

 _I love holding your hand. You're my friend. The first friend I've ever had. And probably the only one I'll ever have_

She swore she saw he corner of his mouth twitch, but he still did not move.

 _You will make an amazing Jedi. I hope someday you can show me the temple and your home someday._

Nothing. She couldn't help but lean forward towards him a bit.

 _I wish we had met long ago. You would have made this Hell I'm in bearable._

She looked down and began tracing random patterns into the sand with her fingers.

 _You're not only the first person to hear me, but you're the first and only person who cares about hearing me. Actually, you're the first person to care about me at all._

She blinked away tears

 _I wish I could tell you Ben. I wish I could just tell you everything._

"You can. Anytime you need to."

She looked up quickly and saw Ben with his eyes open, giving her a small smile. Saya blushed.

 _How-how much have you heard?_

"…about the point when you said you loved holding my hand."

She sat back and crossed her arms. _I knew it!_

He smiled and laughed. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

 _But you can hear me! Without holding my hand!_

"Yes. Yes I can"

Many nights after that were them sitting under the tree together. Ben educated her about the Jedi and Saya educated him of the Healers Order. After another year, words didn't even matter between them. They sat side by side, staring at the stars.

"Saya, what if there was another option for us?" Ben asked her

 _What do you mean?_

"Perhaps… the path of the Jedi is not for me"

Saya sat back and stared at him

 _I don't understand. Why? You have been training years for this. What new path could there possibly be for you?_

"Not just for me Saya. For you as well. You and I, together."

 _Ben, you're going to be a Jedi and I'm going to be a healer. Maybe you can leave the Jedi Order, but I cannot leave the Healers Order."_

"Yes you can!"

Saya jumped at his sudden burst and he suddenly stood and started pacing in the sand.

"Saya, we can escape! Both of us! There is another way!"

 _What other way Ben? What are you talking about?_

Ben stopped pacing and looked up at the stars.

"Someone…is telling me of another path. A path that gives me the power I need to break away from the Jedi order."

 _But why? Why do you want to break away?_

He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. "I told you about them. My parents. They casted me off here to train and just left me here. My uncle sees me as just another apprentice. Until you came, I've been all alone."

Saya couldn't help but feel flattered and happy at his words about her, but she was still concerned about what he was saying.

"But someone is offering me a path that you and I can walk down together."

Saya glanced down at the sand. _Ben, I have nothing else. My while life has been in the Order and I'll die in the Order. The force has gifted me with the power to heal, but that is all I can do. In about three more years, I'll say my vows and commit myself entirely. Including vows of no love, no marriage, and chastity. I'm stuck-_

"You are not stuck!"

She jumped again. That was the first time he had ever snapped at her.

He quickly knelt down and grabbed her hands.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. But there is another way."

 _Ben, who is telling you all of this?_

"I…can't tell you yet. I haven't decided on my path yet. But if there was another way, would you follow me?"

Saya stared at him, seeing the hope in his eyes.

… _Why do you even want me to go with you?_

"…because I love you…"

Time seemed to stand still between them.

 _You…you love me?_

"Yes. I love you Saya. And I don't want a path where you aren't walking beside me."

She couldn't stop the tears that fell from her lavender eyes.

 _Why? You-you can't… I'm not someone that can be loved! The Superior mother said-_

All words left them both as Ben grabbed the back of her head and brought his lips to hers. Saya found herself leaning back against the tree and wrapped her arms around him.

For the first time, neither of them cared about the rest of the galaxy. This moment was for them and only them.

After the kiss, Ben pulled Saya gently onto his lap while he leaned against the tree. She tucked her head under his neck and couldn't help but silently cry. Both tears of joy and sadness

"I promise you Saya, I will find a way for us to be together… I swear it…"

-!-!-!

Saya jerked awake and jumped up from the bench. It wasn't safe to sleep. But for all she knew, she could have just closed her eyes. There was still nothing in the room but white walls and the small bench. Not even the door had a window or handle on the inside. Just plain white walls. She was still exhausted from using so much power and fought to keep her eyes open. She knew she over exerted herself trying to heal San Tekka and help the villagers. But to no avail.

She began pacing the room, desperate to stay awake.

 _I will not sleep. I will not eat if they feed me. I will show no weakness._

The women of the order were often stereotyped as soft, gentle women. She refused to be seen that way to the masked monster. Even if it meant her death.

She finally heard steps coming down the hall. Saya made sure to stand all, even as the door opened. The masked man entered the room and Saya stood tall. As soon as he stepped into the room, the doors slammed shut behind him. She did everything she could not to flinch.

The man entered the room and she felt his eyes on her. She continued to glare at him and refused to look away

"You look as though you wish to kill me"

 _I wish I could_

"I doubt the women of the Healers Order would think highly of those thought of yours."

Saya was taken back

 _You can hear me?_

"I can. I am no Jedi, but I am strong with the force. As are you, in your own way."

Saya had no response for him.

"Back on Jakku, you claimed I stole your happiness. Did the old man mean that much to you?"

 _No, not him…_

"Then who?"

She finally let her tears fall but continued to glare at him.

 _You are Kylo Ren of the First Order and the one who destroyed the Jedi temple years ago…_

He said nothing, continuing to stare at her

 _I hate you! You killed the only person who truly loved me!_

"The Order does not allow love, if I am mistaken. The Healers-"

 _I don't care about the healers! I HATE YOU!_

Saya couldn't hold her composure anymore. She brought her hands to her face and released all her pain.

 _He was the only one that game me a means to go on! He made me believe in a life beyond the Order… promising me a new path we could take together… I wanted to take my own life until I met him… and now you've come and killed the first person to show me some kindness after him…_

She looked up at him, face streaming with tears and the blood that was dried onto her cheeks

 _You took him away from me! YOU KILLED MY BEN!_

She once again wished she could scream and yell. But he at least heard her.

She took a deep breath and straightened herself.

 _Kill me and be done. Do one good deed in your life and let me be with him again…_

Silence filled the room. She couldn't even hear his breathing thru the mask. She was slightly startled when he spoke again.

"You are right. Ben solo is dead"

She closed her eyes and dropped her head. _Please just kill me and be done with it…_

"But his love for you never died, Saya"

She processed his words before finally looking up.

 _What did you just-?_

As she looked up, his hands were on the side of his mask, the click and hissing sound of the mouth opening, allowing him to slip the mask off over his head.

Saya's heart skipped a beat, her breathing stopped.

Dark eyes met her lavender ones and Saya took a step back.

 _Ben?_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Saya couldn't breathe. She could hardly think properly.

 _No… this isn't real! My Ben is dead!_

"Saya, listen to me-"he took a step towards her, letting the helmet fall to the floor

 _NO! She told me you were dead! Everyone in the temple died!_

"I'm right here Saya. Please"

Her chest began burn. She could hear her heart pound in her chest, rapidly. She began hyperventilating

Ben caught her before she hit the floor

 _This isn't real… this can't be real…_

The last thing she remembered was Ben kissing her hair as darkness took over her.

-Flashback-

Saya laid in her bed, waiting for the right time to sneak off and meet with Ben. She heard the breathing and some snores from the other girls around her. They were all quick to sleep in the evenings, eager to get up early and please the Mothers. Saya no longer cared. She would do her chores and complete her studies, but the only thing she cared for was seeing Ben.

He promised her he would find another path for them. She believed him with all of her heart.

Without warning, the lights suddenly switched on, making all the girls groan.

"Wake up! We're evacuating the planet!"

Saya jolted up from her bed. The Superior Mother was rushing, shaking any girls awake that were still sleeping. Several tried to ask what was going on.

"There is no time! We have ships out front! Everyone get on a ship now!"

The girls were all quick to listen, not even bothering to change clothes. Saya was quick to rush outside, but ignored all the girls rushing to the ships.

Ben was still here. No matter what danger was here, she had to save him. She only made it a few steps when someone grabbed her arm and spun her around

"What in the word are you doing!?" it was the Superior Mother. "Get on the ship now!"

Saya ignored her and tried to wrestle out of her grip, going so far as to pound on her arm.

 _LET ME GO! I NEED TO HELP HIM!_

The Superior Mother was attempting to drag her back to one of the ships.

"Saya, let's go now! GET ON THE SHIP!"

Saya did not give up. Not until the Superior Mother smacked her across the face with her free hand. Saya fell to the ground in front of her, clutching the sore, red side of her face. The Superior Mother was quick to smack the other side of her face as well. Saya glared at her, trying to ignore the pain and not let tears fall.

Superior Mother towered over Saya and sneered at her.

"How dare you! I have had enough of you! The Order took you in when you had nothing! You ARE NOTHING!"

She knelt down to Saya, inches from her face.

"I know where you are trying to go. I've known for quite some time."

Saya's eyes went wide.

 _That isn't possible…_

"Master Skywalker approached me weeks ago and told me of your little meetups with his apprentice. He was a fool to suggest letting it go on, for 'his sake' he said."

She leaned in closer so all Saya could see was her eyes.

"He's dead. All of the apprentices are dead."

Saya's face went pale, all blood draining from her face.

"Someone burned the Jedi Temple down and killed all of them. I doubt even Skywalker is still alive."

The Mother Superior stood up and dusted her dress off. She regained her composure and continued glaring at Saya, who was still silently crying on the ground.

"You have caused this. If you had obeyed the rules and followed the Healers Order, this never would have happened."

Saya knew she was wrong. Saya knew she didn't cause it to happen. But she didn't care. She didn't care about the Healers Order or the Jedi Temple. She didn't even care about her own life anymore.

Ben was dead. Her Ben was gone.

The Mother Superior grabbed Saya's wrist and dragged her to her feet.

"You have nothing else. The Order is all you have and all you will ever have."

She pulled Saya along, taking her to the closest ship. All Saya could do was let her be pulled onto the ship, silently crying.

As soon as they were on the ship, the door closed behind them and the Mother Superior grabbed her by the hair. Saya's mouth opened as if the scream, but no sound came out. She was dragged around the corner and was led to the crowded group of young girls.

"Look girls! This is the reason we had to leave our training temple!"

Saya was thrown to the ground in front of the group. She didn't even bother looking up. She sat there and continued crying.

"Saya has been sneaking off to meet with an apprentice from the Jedi temple. She broke the rules of the Order! And she risked us being victims of whoever is responsible for the destruction of the Jedi temple!"

The Superior Mother walked around Saya and stood in front of the girls, completely ignoring her tears and pain.

"But do not fret. Saya will have her penance when we return to our Main Temple. Everyone will continue their training and all will be well."

The Superior Mother walked into the other cabin and disappeared from sight. The girls glared at Saya, some stepping forward to stand in front of her.

"Hope he was worth it you slut"

One gave her a swift kick in the stomach, making her fall over into a ball. They all left her there, returning to their own concerns and conversations.

Saya didn't care. She stayed in a ball on the ground screaming in her own head. Nothing in the galaxy mattered to her anymore

 _Ben was gone…. Her Ben was gone…_

-!-!-!

Ben sat on the floor for several minutes, stroking Saya's hair. Her breathing finally evened out and her heart rate went back to normal.

He never expected to find her on that planet. He spent years looking for Saya across the galaxy. And he finally found her on a small, insignificant planet. He couldn't help but smile. Not only will he get the map to Skywalker, but he finally found Saya.

She was finally his. Now and always.

He reached over, grabbed his helmet and placed it back over his head. Once it was secure, he gently lifted Saya up into his arms and walked to the door.

He quickly used his power to open the door and carried her out and down the hallway.

A storm trooper cautiously approached him as he reached the door to his own chambers.

"Sir, we interrogated the resistance pilot but he refuses to give us the information. We have tried all tactics."

Ben nodded "I'll deal with it myself"

The door to his room opened and he swiftly placed Saya on the bed. He covered her with the blanket and stepped back, taking in the view.

The bed was too small. This room was not suited for her, but it would have to do for now. Once they were properly back on base, she would finally be in his room suited for the both of them.

He walked out of the room and approached the nearest trooper.

"I want the medical team to come and see her in my room. Make sure she is healthy and into clean clothes."

"Yes sir" he quickly rushed off to do his task.

Ben made his way to the interrogation room, eager to get this done and over with.

He entered the room and, as he expected, the pilot was in the interrogation chair. The soldiers certainly tried every tactic to get him to talk. The man was bruised and bloody.

"I had no idea we had the best pilot in the resistance on board. Comfortable?"

"Not really."

"I'm impressed. No one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map"

"You might want to rethink your technique"

Poe met his eyes and glared at him.

"Where is she?"

"Where is who?"

"Saya. What have you done with her?"

A rush of anger hit him. "What do you care?"

"She's from the Healers Order. She's neutral. Just let her go back to the Order! Don't touch her!"

Ben reached out his arm, almost reaching for the pilots head

"You have bigger things to worry about. Where is it?"

"The resistance will not be intimidated by you!"

"Where- is it!?"

Ben's frustration was obvious. He needed to get back to Saya. But this had to come first.

It did not take him long to get the pilot screaming.

"The droid! It's in my BB8- unit!"

"WHERE!?"

"Back on Jakku!"

Ben dropped his arm and wasted no more of his time with the now passed out man in the upright chair.

As soon as he walked out of the room, he was face to face with General Hux

"It's in a droid. A BB8-Unit left on the plant."

Hux smirked. "Well, if it's on Jakku we shall soon have it."

"I'll leave that to you"

Ben turned to leave, eager to return to his cabin.

"Ren, I have been told you brought another prisoner on board and she is not in the detention cell."

"She isn't a prisoner. She is in my charge. Nothing for you to concern yourself with."

"It DOES concern me, Ren if another member of the resistance is on board"

Ben turned and stood only inches from Hux's face. He had had enough.

"She is not with the resistance. She is from the Healers Order. And she is under my charge. Leave her to me, or you will regret it."

Ben always silently enjoyed it when he placed fear in General Hux's eyes. But he wasted no more time on him.

He swiftly walked back to his small cabin. The first thing he saw was the young medical worker making notes on his board. He jumped as soon as Ben entered the room.

"Your report?"

"Sir, she is relatively healthy. Slightly underweight but nothing a proper diet cannot help with."

Ben couldn't help but finally notice how small she really was.

"I had one of the female attendants clean her up and give her fresh clothes. We gave her a sedative to help her sleep properly. She was quite restless when we came in. she should sleep until we reach the base."

"Good. Now leave."

The man quickly grabbed his notes and small bag and rushed from the room.

Once the door closed behind him, Ben locked the door and removed his helmet and gloves. He sat in the chair next to the bed and stared at her face.

Her hair was longer and she was slightly taller, but other than that she had not changed. She was skinny, he always thought she was underweight. But that still didn't take away from her beauty. He loved her silver hair and lavender eyes.

He was only in her presence for a short time and he felt more power flow through him. From the moment he met Saya, he knew she was powerful in her own way with the force. It was what made her the most valuable healer in the Healers Order. For whatever reason, it made his power flow stronger in him.

He knew there was now nothing holding him back any longer. Now he had Saya. And soon he will soon have the map to Skywalker.

There was now no longer any need to look back.


	4. Chapter 4

*Hope everyone is enjoying so far. Reviews are appreciated!*

Chapter 4

Saya had no idea how long she had been asleep. She awoke with a jolt and quickly took in her surroundings. She certainly wasn't in the holding cell anymore. The room was large, obviously for someone in power. The bed she was in was also large with black sheets. The room was overall dark with no sign of any warmth. There were no pictures, no personal signs of life. Only papers on a table with a chair. There was also a bookcase against one of the walls. It felt cold and empty to her.

She got up and realized she was in new clothes. She shivered at the thought of someone changing her. The dress was a lot smaller than she was used to. The healers wore only floor length dresses with long sleeves. All but their heads and hands were covered. She was wearing a knee length black dress with short sleeves. Black was not a color the healers approved of, as it meant death. She had only ever worn tan and white.

She walked around and realized there was a large window against one of the walls next to a small door. She walked into a large bathroom with a large standing shower. She had to admit to herself she liked the idea of being able to use it. The window revealed a large view of a snowy forest.

 _This certainly isn't Jakku. Where am I?_

She looked and saw another small door to the left. She opened the door and walked into a very small room with only a chair and a table. She moved closer and saw something large on the table.

 _Is that… a melted helmet?_

A moment later, she heard the main door open and footsteps. His presence alone made her shake. She felt unable to move as she felt him stand in the doorway behind her.

"Saya"

He was wearing the mask. She didn't turn to face him and continued staring at the melted helmet.

 _Take off the mask Ben. I need to see your face._

She heard the small clicks being undone as he walked around her, standing in front of the small table across from her. She slowly looked up into his eyes, small tears forming. She tried to ignore them.

 _I thought you were dead…She told me you were dead…_

"Who told you I was?"

 _The Superior Mother. She told me the temple was destroyed…because I was seeing you…_

Ever since they met, Saya could feel his emotions when he was near her. She was never sure why. She guessed because of her own power.

She felt a surge of anger run through him

"You know that is a lie Saya."

 _I know… but that is what I was told. Where am I? Where did you bring me?_

"The base of the First Order. This is your home now." He stated it as a fact. The intensity in his eyes made Saya scared to argue back about his statement.

 _Did you do it? Did you destroy the Jedi temple and kill them all Ben?_

He cast his eyes down to the helmet on the table.

"Ben… is a name I destroyed long ago. He died the night the temple was destroyed. I found the path I am meant to be on, Saya"

 _A path that led you to death and destruction… a path you took and left me behind…_

Ben immediately looked up and into her eyes.

"I tried to find you!" He yelled, making Saya jump. Anger was coursing through him now.

"After I destroyed the Jedi temple, I ran to find you. But the Healer's temple was empty. I spent years trying to find you!"

The entire time he spoke, he slowly made his way around the table to her. Saya couldn't stop herself from taking a few steps back.

"Where did you go, Saya?" His eyes were still intent on hers. She had to admit, he was frightening her.

 _They evacuated us from the training temple and took us back to the Temple of Elders on Mourdu. After I completed my penance for seeing you, I was taken to another training temple on a smaller planet in the outskirts of the galaxy. I was forced to stay there for years before they made me take my vows_

Ben was silent as he looked back to the helmet on the table. She could only imagine the thoughts going through his head.

 _Why did you kill him Ben? Lor San Tekka was a good man. He did great things for the people in that village_

He didn't take his eyes off the helmet.

"Saya, the path I have taken requires choices. Choices I have to make to bring order and balance to the galaxy."

 _Ben what are you talking about?_

"Remember when we were children, I told you someone offered me another path? I took it Saya. And he was right. This galaxy needs to be brought to the proper order."

 _Who is telling you all this?_

"Our Supreme Leader Snoke. He showed me the power of the dark side. I will help him bring a new order to the galaxy."

Saya simply had no words at the moment. She wasn't even sure what to say. Ben long ago taught her the difference between the light and dark sides of the force. She couldn't understand why he would deliberately choose the darkness.

 _Ben… Why? You know this is wrong. Why would you do this?_

"…I did this for you, Saya."

She blinked

 _What?_

"I don't only do this for the galaxy. The Supreme Leader promised me long ago I could take you with me. Saya, I do this so we can be together!"

 _You want us to take a path of blood and death together! This isn't right!_

"This is the only path we have together!"

 _No it isn't!_ She screamed back at him

 _I would have been happy just running away! Only us Ben! We could have left to a place where no one knew us where we could start a life for ourselves!_

"But I have power!" He screamed. "I have the power to create a life for us now! I will protect you and keep you by my side on our own terms!"

Saya couldn't hold back her tears anymore

 _On your terms Ben. On your terms…_

"Don't call me that anymore. My name is-"

 _I refuse to call you Kylo Ren. That is not who you are_

She saw Ben clench his fists and grit his teeth.

"Saya, I am not the same man you knew. I am NOT Ben Solo."

She couldn't help it anymore. She brought her hands to cover her face and cried. The boy she still loved was gone.

She heard him take steps towards her.

"Saya, I did this for you. I finally found you after all of these years. And I won't lose you again. I discarded everything of me that was Ben Solo. Everything but my feelings for you. Please, give me the chance to show you the life we can have together."

She felt his arms slip around her and he held her tight against him.

"I love you, Saya. You're the only one who can make me feel complete. We can finally be together. Just give this life a chance."

She couldn't resist closing her eyes and enjoying the feel of being in his arms again. This wasn't Kylo Ren. This was Ben. No matter what it took, she was going to have her Ben again.

His hand slid up to the back of her head and he tilted her face up to his. He couldn't resist anymore and he brought his lips to hers.

Electricity ran through them. Saya's body felt warm and alive for the first time in years. Ben felt more powerful than ever before.

Saya prayed that this would last forever. It was selfish but she wanted to forget about the rest of the galaxy.

As soon as the kiss ended a loud knock on the door made Saya jump and Ben groan in frustration.

He slowly released her and walked out of the room. She felt the anger build up in him again

"What is it!?" he snapped at the door.

"Sir, the Supreme Leader demands an audience with you and General Hux"

Ben turned to look at Saya who followed him out of the room. Saya could have almost laughed at the look in his eyes. He reminded her of a child who was told playtime was over.

She gave him a small smile

 _I'll still be here Ben_

He grabbed his helmet and gave her another small kiss

"I promise I will make you happy here Saya. Please just give me the chance"

He quickly placed the helmet on his head and left the room

Saya couldn't help but feel a chill run down her spine. She wanted to believe that everything would be alright. But she knew this wouldn't last. But she wanted to be selfish for once in her life and believe she could do it.

 _I'll find a way to get my Ben back. He's alive. I know it._

The Healers Order was neutral, but she swore then and there she would bring Ben back to the light.

-!-!-!

Saya was by his side. His power was heightened like never before. But that did nothing to help the First Order directly. Ever since they returned to Star Killer Base, nothing else had gone as planned. While Saya was asleep, the resistance pilot escaped with the traitor FN-2187. Then their men failed to retrieve the droid, FN-2187 escaped with the droid and some scavenger off of the planet on a ship.

He didn't even register General Hux kneeling next to him in front of the hologram of their Supreme Leader. All he acknowledged was the weapon was ready to destroy the Republic. Once the support for the Resistance was destroyed, it would be easy to destroy them all together. Once Hux was walking away, he looked up to face Leader Snoke.

"There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?"

"Yes" He felt it shortly after he brought Saya onto the base

"The dark side, and the light. The droid you seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon in the hand of your father, Han Solo."

"…He means nothing to me"

"Even the Knights of Ren have never faced such a test."

"By the grace of your training I will not be seduced."

"But you have already been seduced by the light, my apprentice."

Ben tensed, unsure of what to say at his word.

"There is a change in you. I have never felt more power in you. And there is now another presence with power aboard the base."

Ben had to choose his next words carefully.

"I found her… the one you promised I could have for joining you. For joining the dark side. I swear to you, she will not seduce me to the light. She will add to my power, for the First Order while she stays by my side."

Leader Snoke considered his words.

"Yes, I sense the great power coming from the young healer. Very well, keep the girl with you. I allow this only because I know she adds to your strength. However…"

Supreme Leader Snoke leaned down, an intense look on his face

"If this girl is a hindrance to the First Order, and to you, you will destroy her yourself. Am I understood?"

Ben suppressed his anger. "I promise you it won't come to that-"

"Do you understand me, apprentice!?" his voice echoed in the room. A lesser man would have run in fear by now.

"…Yes, Supreme Leader."

Leader Snoke nodded and the hologram disappeared.

Ben quickly made his way out of the room.

It wouldn't come to that. Saya was finally his. She would stay by his side and add to his power. The Resistance would be destroyed, Skywalker and the Jedi will become extinct, and the First Order will reign over the galaxy.

Everything will fall into place.

He walked down the hallway, eager to return to Saya. So many lost years meant there was so much time to make up for. Once he was close to his room, two Stormtroopers approached him cautiously.

"Sir, General Hux requests you to join him at the command post. A message was received from the Healers Temple. We need to know how to proceed."

Ben clenched his fists in frustration and he made his way to the command post. He didn't hide his frustration as he approached Hux.

"You couldn't handle a simple message, General?"

"I though you should be the one to deal with it, as it is about your new COMPANION"

Hux pressed a button on the screen and a hologram appeared of an older woman in a long dress and a large bun on her head.

" _I am the Superior Mother of the High Temple of the Healers Order. All of the healers in the Order are under the charge of our elders and myself. It has come to our attention that you have taken one of our healers off of the planet Jakku. The Healers Order is neutral, we serve across the galaxy no matter the circumstances. If the First Order requests a healer for their cause, we will happily oblige. However, you must return the healer you have taken from Jakku. Return her to the High Temple on Mourdu and we will see about a proper healer to assist you. Saya has another path she needs to follow. Return her immediately."_

The message ended and Hux glanced at Ben.

"What should we do with her, Ren?"

Ben didn't want to waste his time on this any further.

"WE do nothing, General. The healer is under my charge. Delete the message. She stays with me."

He turned and walked back towards the direction of his room, ignoring General Hux's attempts to call him back.

Saya wasn't going anywhere. She was going to remain by his side, now and always. The Healers Order be damned.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Days seemed to go by quickly for Saya. Ben made sure she was comfortable every time he had to leave to perform his duties to the First Order. Meals for her were brought three times a day and clothes were provided. The dresses were all dark colors and some too short for her taste. She avoided them and tried to adjust to new colors and more of her skin being exposed.

She greatly enjoyed the books he had in his room. The Healers Order only allowed books of healing and history of the Order and its temples. Now she was reading about ships and other parts and histories of the galaxy.

What she looked forward to the most was nights, when Ben would return to her and they would hold each other in their arms on the bed. They spent many nights talking about anything they could think of and Saya loved being held by him again. The first night they slept next to each other, Ben came to bed wearing nothing but plain black pants. Saya had never seen Ben, or any man for that matter, with almost nothing on. Her powers gave her the ability to heal without removing anything.

Saya turned red and rolled away, clutching the blankets up to her face. He couldn't help but laugh.

"Something wrong, Saya?"

 _Just…just get into bed Ben_

He didn't bother mentioning that he usually slept in nothing at all

She still wore the most covering dresses she was given. As soon as she felt his warmth around her, she relaxed and fought to stay awake so they could talk. Soon after, she fell into an easy sleep. Ben often stayed awake most nights running his fingers thru her hair while trying to determine the best course of action for the First Order.

General Hux had spies all over the planets. Now they were waiting on word of when the droid would be spotted. And anytime now the base would be in position to destroy the republic. It was all just a matter of time. Ben couldn't help but enjoy the calm times he had with Saya. At any notice, he would need to rush and leave to retrieve the droid, wherever it was in the galaxy.

After the first night together, Ben had another need grow inside of him. Ever since he brought Saya to the base, he realized she wasn't a girl anymore. She was a beautiful young woman. And he was a man. She was thin, but still beautiful. For years he longed to have her in his arms again. Now he longed to touch her.

Saya, however, was completely oblivious to his need. Every night she curled up beside him and fell into a dreamless sleep. She blushed and turned away every time she saw him remove a single article of clothing. Her entire life, she was told it was shameful to reveal any unnecessary skin. And sexual education simply didn't exist in the Healers Order. All girls were sworn to celibacy. Even the simple kisses they shared made her blush.

Saya felt completely selfish for the first time in her life. She still mourned for Lor San Tekka, but she told herself that was because of Kylo Ren, no Ben Solo.

 _My Ben is still alive. I'll get him back…_

She was waiting for the perfect time to convince him to leave with her. They could run away and start over, just the two of them. But he was so intent on his current mission, she didn't know if he would even listen to her.

Ben was getting ready to leave for the day while Saya was curled up on the bed with a book

 _Ben, I've been in this room for a while now. Will you show me around the base sometime?_

He was quiet for a moment before he answered her.

"I will, once our goal is complete. It won't be long now. Once the Resistance falls, all will fall into place and I will be proud to have you on my arm."

 _But then the first order won't need you anymore! We could-_

"I told you about my grandfather, Saya. I will succeed where he failed. Once the galaxy is in balance, I will make sure it STAYS that way. I will finish what he started and you will stand beside me while I do it"

He had that intense look in his eyes again that made her scared to argue back. She lowered her head back to her book, not sure what to say to him.

Ben grabbed his helmet and made his way over to her. He always gave her a kiss before he left.

"Don't worry about staying up waiting for me. I may be late."

 _Ben, what is it you and the First Order are up to? I know what your goal is, but what are you going to do today?_

"I think its best you don't know. I know you already don't agree with my choices. Please, just trust me to do what is right for the galaxy."

 _You're really going to keep me in the dark? You're already hiding me away. Are you going to keep me in ignorance forever?_

She knew he was becoming frustrated but he was fighting not to snap at her.

"Please, just for a little longer. And I will happily show you the base."

She sighed. He wasn't going to budge on it and she knew it.

He gently leaned down and kissed her. Before she could do anything else, his hand grabbed the back of her head and he deepened the kiss. She felt heat in the pit of her stomach and her head felt light. Their kisses always felt so innocent. Not this one.

She felt his tongue run along her lip and she gasped, giving him the opportunity to enter her mouth. She suddenly felt herself laying back on the bed with Ben on top of her. Her body was hot and her face flushed.

 _Ben…?_

His only response was to slowly break away and give her a kiss on her neck.

"We aren't children anymore, Saya."

He quickly placed his mask on his head and left the room. Saya laid on the bed, still feeling heat all over. He was right, they weren't children anymore. But never once did she consider a physical relationship, other than holding each other and kisses. Anything else would mean excommunication from the Healers Order. No woman in the Order ever received any type of sexual education, so she wasn't even sure what the act itself would entail.

She sighed and stared up at the ceiling. The Healers Order was all she had ever known but all she ever wanted was to be with Ben.

 _I wish I was just a shooting star. Then I would just travel across the galaxy, bringing some light to those who need it…_

But life was in no way that easy for her

-!-!-!

Tomorrow. Tomorrow the Republic would be destroyed and the Resistance would lose their biggest support. That should have made Ben feel at ease, but he was frustrated at the incompetence of the spies in the First Order. How hard was it to find a simple BB8-unit?

The Millennium Falcon had yet to be spotted as well. There were no leads yet. No one had better dare approach him until they had some good news.

He made his usual rounds and read all the reports, but the truth was he was stalling. Each night he went back to Saya and his need grew. It took every bit of his control not to take things further. He knew the Healers Order offered no education in the matter, which was absurd. The Jedi were also sworn to celibacy and they still received a basic education. He was worried of rushing or pushing her. The last thing he wanted was to scare her away or make her hate him

He had some shred of hope that maybe she wanted him the same way.

-!-!-!

Saya tried to stay awake and wait for Ben to come back. She desperately wanted to find the right words to talk him into leaving with her.

 _A home on the edge of the galaxy just for us. No Healers Order, no First Order… just us…_

Maybe if she was willing to give up all she had ever known, he would give up the First Order for her. But he also said he wanted power and to take over his grandfather's work.

 _Does he love me more than all that?_

She wasn't sure.

She sighed for what must have been the hundredth time that day and drifted off. She was in and out of sleep, hoping to soon feel Ben lay next to her in bed.

Saya wasn't sure what time it was, but she finally heard the door to the room open and close. It was completely dark but she heard his footsteps go from the door into the bathroom.

She kept her eyes closed, hoping he would just come and lay in bed next to her. After their earlier kiss, she wasn't sure what to say to him. Maybe she would think of something in the morning. She heard his rustling around. He must be getting ready for bed.

After the rustling stopped, there was a moment of silence.

"Saya. I know you're awake"

She sighed.

 _Yes I am Ben_

"Saya, we aren't children anymore"

She blinked

 _I know_

Was he referring to their kiss from earlier? Could be.

"Saya… Please look at me"

She hesitated, but slowly rolled over

 _Ben, what-_

As soon as she turned around, her face flushed and her eyes went wide.

Even in the darkness of the room, Saya could see Ben was completely naked. The only naked men she had ever seen was in her healers textbook and they removed the images of their private parts. Those simple basic drawings did not even compare to the man standing in front of her.

Muscles ran across Ben's arms and chest. She could even see a couple of scars on his arms. Perhaps from his training. It took everything she had to not remove her eyes from his. She had never seen a man's private area before, and she couldn't deny the healers order still rang in her mind.

" _To gaze upon the naked body in any other than to heal is an abomination! We are healers, not whores!"_ The Superior Mother's voice rang thru her head.

Never breaking eye contact, Ben lifted back the blankets and got into bed next to her. Saya wasn't sure what to do. Her mind was blank and she had to resist the urge to hide away from him.

Ben pulled Saya close to him and gently laid on top of her.

"I Love you, Saya."

His eyes seemed to stare into her very soul. She wasn't sure what to say or do.

"Do you love me? Do you trust me?" He whispered to her.

She wasn't sure how she knew, but Saya knew in her heart that this moment would change everything for her. The loss of her virginity meant immediate excommunication from the Healers Order. Everything she had ever known would be out of her reach.

She couldn't even think of the words to say to him. All she could do was nod.

Immediately, his lips crashed onto hers and she felt lost in his arms. His kisses made her feel heat all over her body, even as he left her lips and trailed down to her neck. His hands frantically worked to remove her nightgown.

As he lifted the gown over her head, she turned red and covered her breasts with her hands. She turned away, trying to ignore the feelings of shame and embarrassment.

Again, the Superior Mother's voice echoed in her head " _How dare you allow a man to see your naked skin!"_

Ben gently took her wrists and looked into her eyes. "Please don't hide yourself from me"

Saya took a shaky breath and let him lift her arms over her head. She heard him take a sharp breath at seeing her body for the first time.

His hands trailed over her body and his fingers brushed over her breasts, making Saya shudder. His lips trailed kisses down to her breasts and she gasped as his tongue flicked over her nipple.

Ben's hands ran down her thighs and he lifted her legs to wrap around him. A strike of fear went through her as she felt his manhood against her core.

His hand slipped down between them and brushed against her. She gasped and his mouth found hers again. She tried to suppress a moan as he stroked her.

"I won't hurt you Saya. Please trust me" He whispered into her neck

She tried to make herself relax as he touched her. But the entire time, she kept hearing the Superior Mother's screaming from the back of her mind.

" _Whore! Degenerate! You bring shame upon the Healers Order! You now have nothing! You will be excommunicated!"_

With the final words she heard, real or not, Saya almost felt something break inside her. A window finally opened for her, one that she didn't want to close again.

She didn't want to return to the order, even if they would take her back. What had they done for her? Nothing. Nothing but abuse, shame, and unhappiness. For the first time in her life, she wanted to be completely selfish.

Still shaking, she ran her own hand between them until she found his member. He gasped

"Saya…" His breath was raspy, as if the air had been taken out of his lungs.

She had no idea what she was doing, but she hoped she was making feel as good as he was making her feel. She stroked his member, feeling clumsy and unsure of herself. She hoped he was enjoying it. Ben however was trying to catch his breath and was shaking all over.

Without warning, he grabbed her hand and held it above her head. His other hand went between them, ready to enter her.

"Saya… are you ready?"

His voice sounded desperate but the fact he was willing to stop for her comfort made her happy. She nodded and braced herself.

With one thrust, both gasped. Ben in pleasure and Saya in pain.

The pain shot through her and her whole body tensed up. She was too afraid to move. The pain was almost unbearable.

Ben held her hands above her head, desperately trying not to move. He wanted to thrust into her, make her scream his name and finish making her his. But this was her first time. The first time for any woman was painful.

"I love you Saya" he said before kissing her.

She broke her hands free from his hold and wrapped her arms around him and he slowly began to move. She breathed her way through the pain until it was finally turning into the same pleasure he was feeling.

Once she moaned in pleasure, he took that as permission to move faster. He tried to keep his own breath steady as he buried his face in her neck.

She gasped and soon felt as if her body was going to shatter

 _Ben, what's happening!?_

He was panting and gently kissing her neck

"Just let go Saya!"

Another moment later, she felt her body crack and if she could scream, she would have. Her whole body shook and she felt herself taken to heights she never thought possible.

Ben was quick to join soon after, moaning her name over and over again.

Both laid on the bed together, arms wrapped around each other.

Saya knew from that point on her path had completely broken away from the one she was forced upon when she was a child.

She just wasn't sure yet if it was the right one…

-!-!-!

Apologies from the lack of updates. A lot has happened for me in a short amount of time that needed my attention. More updates to come as soon as I am able


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Saya's eyes fluttered open and felt a deep soreness throughout her entire body. Ben's arms were still wrapped tightly around her and she carefully moved his arm from her, trying not to wake him. She slowly got off the bed and felt a sharp pain. She hissed and slowly made her way into the bathroom, careful not to wake Ben

Saya looked at herself in the mirror and almost didn't recognize herself. Within a short period of time, she completely discarded the woman she thought she was going to be. The loss of her virginity meant immediate excommunication of the Healers Order.

Part of her felt a sadness about it. The Order was all she had ever known. On the other hand, she finally felt a freedom she longed for. No more abuse, no more lashes or cruel words. She was finally free of them.

But most of all, she was with Ben.

Another sharp pain caused Saya to look down and she felt the blood leave her face. Between her thighs were smears of blood.

She told herself this was normal, but seeing it still made her feel sick.

Before she could do anything else, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her from behind.

"Are you alright?"

 _Yes. I just didn't expect…this…_

He looked down and saw the blood.

"That's normal after a woman's first time. Did the Order not teach you anything about this?"

 _No. We are sworn to celibacy. They never saw a need to._

His arms held her tighter.

"It's not 'we' anymore Saya. You aren't part of the Healers Order anymore. Your mine now"

She let herself enjoy his embrace but part of her felt cold. She wasn't sure why, but a deep feeling inside her felt uneasy.

He gently kissed her head and left the room to get dressed.

Saya cleaned herself up and felt better. Most of the pain subsided and she walked easier now. She left the bathroom and Ben was already dressed. She could feel his emotions heightened.

He was happy.

 _Are you leaving already?_

"I have to. The First Order is finally making a step towards peace in the galaxy today."

 _What step is that? What is the First Order doing?_

He was silent for a moment

"… I think its best you don't know. But I promise you, it's what needs to be done."

She wanted to push the point further, but knew that never got anywhere with him.

 _Does this mean I can see the base soon?_

"Soon. I promise"

She still wasn't satisfied with his answer but did not want to ruin the mood he was in.

Ben grabbed his helmet and gave her a final kiss before heading for the door

"I'll send someone in to clean the room today. I promise you I won't be back late tonight"

She gave him a smile as he left the room.

After she was dressed, she tried to distract herself with the many books Ben had, but her thoughts made it impossible to pay attention to them.

 _What was happening today?_

After a couple of hours, she heard a light knocking on the door and 2 service droids entered the room

"Greetings. We are here to service the room."

They quickly set to task cleaning and Saya looked to the door.

Maybe a small walk wouldn't anger him too badly. Just a small one. Maybe he wouldn't even know…

-!-!-!

Ben stood in front of the glass, waiting. The weapon took a long time to charge but given the power behind it, no one complained

In the far distance, he could see the small planets of the republic. They weren't going to be there for much longer.

Sure enough, Ben soon saw the blaring red lights of the weapon.

It was time

-!-!-!

Saya tried to walk as if she was meant to be there or that she wasn't lost. But she still felt the stares of the Stormtroopers and other members of the First Order.

After walking around for almost an hour, she tried to find her way back to the room.

 _I was stupid to think I could find it easily. I should have known this was a large the base._

Though she couldn't completely blame herself. The only room she saw was Bens.

She rounded the corner and saw a large opening and large glass windows. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Ben standing in front of them.

Saya was sure he would be infuriated if he saw she was out of his room. But she was lost and had no idea where the room was. Hopefully, his good mood wasn't ruined and he wouldn't be too angry at her.

She slowly approached him, trying to figure out what to say. Before she could reach out to him, she saw flashing red lights suddenly race across the glass. She thought they were beautiful.

She watched for a moment, hoping to see something interesting before Ben forced her back into his room.

However, her excitement ended as soon as she saw where the lights were heading. In the small distance, Saya saw several small planets. The red lights were heading right for them.

Her eyes went wide and she felt cold all over. Within seconds, the beams hit the planets.

They were gone

Saya's hands covered her mouth. She felt it. She could hear thousands of screams inside her head. It felt as though thousands of needles were pricking her all over. Saya knew that millions of lives were gone, destroyed within seconds

"Saya?"

She was finally pulled away from the racing thoughts in her head and realized Ben had turned around and noticed her.

"Saya, what are you doing here!?"

She continued to stand there shaking, unsure of what to say.

"Why did you leave the room!?"

He began to storm over to her until she began to back away from him.

 _Was this it… was this the step towards peace!?_

She was still shaking but her hands were now clenched into fists at her side. Ben had no response for her.

 _You… you killed thousands of innocent people! I felt it! Every scream, I heard it and felt it! How could you!? How can the First Order do this!?_

"I told you there were steps we had to take to bring peace to the galaxy-"

 _HOW DOES MURDURING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE BRING ABOUT PEACE!?_

They stood there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. Had his mask been off, she would have seen the shocked expression on his face. Never had she ever snapped at him like that.

She finally felt tears slowly fall from her eyes, but her angry expression never once changed.

 _I thought I could do this… but I can't. I told myself that San Tekka's death was because of Kylo Ren, not my Ben. But you were right, my Ben is gone. My Ben wouldn't be a part of this…_

Saya felt the anger slowly build inside of him

 _I can't be a part of this… I can't do this…_

She saw his fists clench.

"… What are you saying Saya" He sneered, his teeth grinding together

 _Take me back to the Healers Order. I won't be part of this anymore._

"NO!" Ben screamed

Saya didn't even flinch, but all the other members of the First Order did. She had already anticipated this anger from him

"YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME! I SPENT YEARS LOOKING FOR YOU! I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU!"

She didn't budge.

 _You did all this for yourself! If you loved me and knew me the way my Ben did, he would have known I would never be a part of this! That I would never approve of all this!_

"You aren't leaving here! YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME! YOU BELONG TO ME!"

 _I belong to Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren_

"YOU WILL REMAIN BY MY SIDE, NOW AND ALWAYS!"

 _IF YOU WONT TAKE ME BACK THEN I WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THE FIRST ORDER AND YOU!_

There was a strong silence between them. She couldn't believe she had said that. She wasn't sure she meant it but her own anger had gotten the better of her.

She couldn't feel his emotions. He seemed too shocked to even feel anything.

Without another word, Saya turned and calmly walked away from him and back down the hall. She gently wiped her tears away. She didn't want to leave him. But she couldn't condone any of what he was doing.

She could almost laugh when she remembered she told him to take her back to the Healers Order. They wouldn't have her back anyway. She ruined that chance last night

She finally saw a familiar hallway and began back towards to room, knowing there was nowhere else she could go on the base

She took a step in the direction and froze. A chill went up her spine and she felt true fear run in her veins.

Rage. Pure rage. She felt Ben's emotions even from this distance away from him.

But it wasn't that far away from her now. He was getting closer to her. And fast.

He was coming after her

Without further hesitation, she ran. This was the first time she was truly scared for her life.

She turned the final corner of the last hallway to get to his room when she heard him scream.

"SAYA!"

He was screaming her name, running after her. She couldn't see him yet, but he was close

She quickly ran into the room but wanted to kick herself. She should have hidden somewhere else on the base. Somewhere not so obvious. But it was too late now.

She had no idea how to lock the door to the room. In a panic, she ran into the bathroom and locked the door, cursing her own stupidity.

She couldn't stop tears from falling down her face as she cowered on the floor next to the shower.

 _I'm going to die… He's going to kill me…_

She heard the door open and the rage she felt from him was overwhelming.

"SAYA! COME OUT HERE NOW!"

She covered her ears with her hands and sobbed. She was too afraid to move.

She jumped when she heard the banging on the bathroom door

"COME OUT!"

She sobbed as the banging continued. He was ramming into the door, rage still emanating off of him.

Another bang sent Saya over the edge

 _STOP! BEN, PLEASE JUST STOP!_

After another bang, she heard silence. She still sobbed, unsure of the next step. She didn't think he would actually listen to her. She knew she had to face him at some point. Although it was probably going to be for the last time.

She stood and wiped her face. She had to face him. There was no other option.

Before she made a step towards to door, she heard a familiar noise but couldn't place where she heard it before.

Saya didn't have to wait long to remember what it was. Within seconds of realization, Ben's bright red lightsaber was stabbed right into the metal door

She cowered back into the corner, hands covering her mouth. He began slashing at the door, breaking it down piece by piece.

With one last yell, he ran back into the door and knocked it down completely.

Ben stood in the doorway, eyes closed, panting with sweat running down his face. His helmet was off and thrown into the corner of the room.

Saya wanted to be strong, to embrace whatever fate was coming for her. But tears still fell from her.

And yet she still felt concerned for him.

… _Ben?_

His eyes finally opened and found her in the corner. Most of his rage was gone, but he was still filled with anger. The lightsaber still bright, making his face look more sinister than it already was.

As soon as he began to make his way over to her, she closed her eyes and prayed for a quick death.

She heard the sound of the lightsaber disappear and his hands grabbed her wrists. She felt her hands lift and held against the wall above her head.

She opened her eyes just in time for his mouth to slam onto hers.

Saya was confused at first. His anger still filled all her senses. But he was kissing her.

It wasn't a gentle kiss either. This was hard and demanding

When she came out of her daze, she pulled her face away from him

 _Let go of me!_

He didn't. He continued to hold her wrists and pressed his face into her neck

"You aren't leaving me! Your mine!"

He tried to kiss her again but she moved her face away from him.

 _BEN, LET GO OF ME!_

He growled in frustration and practically dragged her out of the bathroom. Saya fought to get her hands free but he was much stronger than her. She felt herself suddenly be pushed down on the bed and his weight fell on top of her. His legs straddled hers while he still held her wrists above her head. She continued to struggle, desperate to break his hold.

He was still panting, desperate to kiss her.

Finally, she gave out a cry in frustration and slumped down, too tired to fight anymore.

Ben must have felt the same way. She felt all his weight completely on top of her. His hands were still wrapped around her wrists but there was no pressure. If she wasn't so tired, she could have moved her hands away.

They stayed like that for quite some time. Both trying to catch their breath.

Ben finally lifted his head and began placing gently kisses on her neck. Saya still held her eyes closed and had tears of frustration run down your face

"You aren't leaving me. You CANT leave me!"

He pressed his face into her neck, his arms wrapping around her.

"I need you. I need you at my side. I finally found you after all these years. I can't lose you again!"

Saya wiped the tears from her face with her hand but still faced away from him

 _I can't be a part of this, Ben. I'm sorry but I can't do it._

He was silent and she wondered if he would become enraged again.

After what felt like hours, he slowly lifted himself off of her and she rolled over and curled into a ball.

She didn't cry anymore. Maybe she finally ran out of tears.

Ben slowly stood and made his way to the corner of the room and grabbed his mask from the floor

He slowly walked to the other side of the bed and looked at her. She couldn't read his expression but felt his frustration.

"Saya… I love you. I will always love you"

She wanted to be happy with his words, but she still felt she was being torn apart…

"… And I'm going to do whatever is necessary to keep you next to me."

She sat up and stared at him.

 _What do you mean?_

Ben placed his helmet back over his head

"I meant exactly what I said. I will do whatever it takes to keep you. No matter the cost"

Before she could blink, he swiftly made his way to the door

 _What does that mean!? BEN!_

She received no response. He left the room, locking the door behind him

Saya dropped back onto the bed, physically and mentally exhausted.

 _Where do I go from here?_


	7. Chapter 7

*Hope everyone is enjoying so far! Please review and let me know how I'm doing!

Pardon the multiple spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm a sleep deprived moron…

Chapter 7

Saya had no idea how much time had passed. She was in and out of sleep, trying to stay awake in case Ben returned to the room.

Her eyes stung from crying most of the night. She was exhausted, physically and mentally. She was disgusted with herself on how much she was crying. She felt weak and pitiful.

After several hours, she got off the bed and began to pace, trying to stay awake. She glanced over at the bathroom door and shuddered. The majority of the door was in pieced all over the floor. She stepped over it and washed her face in the bathroom.

She eventually sat at the small table in the room, her mind never shutting down

 _He said he still loved me, but he hasn't returned. Does he hate me now? What will he do to me?_

The more she thought about it, the harder her head started pounding in frustration. She wished he would just return so she would know what will happen to her.

Saya dozed off at the table but jolted awake at the sound of knocking on the door.

The door opened and two droids entered the room. One was holding her breakfast tray and another held a garment bag.

"Good morning. Here is breakfast" The robotic voice said. He placed the tray on the table and left the room. She second stepped up in front of her.

"Good morning. Commander Ren has instructed me to give this to you. He requests you change and wait for his further instructions."

The droid placed the bag on the bed and exited the room.

Curious, Saya rose and opened the bag. Inside was a very elegant white dress, much more modest than the ones usually provided for her. The sleeves flared out at the end with elegant lace around the edges. The same lace pattern was around the waist of the dress and trailed down to the end. She couldn't deny it was beautiful.

 _What is this, an apology gift? No, this isn't like him._

She took it out of the bag and stared at it. What would happen if she refused? Would he become angry again?

She wasn't sure. But after what she had seen from him yesterday, she didn't want to find out.

Saya washed herself and changed into the dress. She brushed her silver hair and styled it in a simple braid.

She ignored the breakfast and continued pacing, anticipation for what was to come making her heart pound

After a couple more hours, there was a knock at the door and the same droid that delivered the dress entered the room.

"Please follow me. Commander Ren is requesting your presence."

Saya could feel her heart pound in her ears. She wished he would have come himself. What was all this about? What was he planning?

Slowly, she followed the droid out of the room. She didn't want to know the consequences of refusing.

The droid led her down a series of hallways. The glances and stares of the Stormtroopers did not bother her. Her heart was pounding and she tried to control her breathing. She couldn't stop herself from shaking. She felt his presence and power the closer and closer the droid led her to his destination.

Never in her life did she think she would ever be afraid of Ben.

The droid finally led her to a room with double doors and the droid opened on and stepped aside to allow her entry

"Please join the Commander inside"

Saya took a deep breath and slowly stepped around to stand in the doorway.

The room was small with several rows of benches leading to the front of the room. The room was dimly lit with a few colorful pictures on the walls.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Ben standing at the end of the benches. His back was to her but she knew he felt her presence. He stood at the end with an older looking gentleman in a black First Order uniform.

Saya stood there shaking, too scared to move.

"Miss, please join the commander" The droid said to her.

Saya heard the droid but she was too scared to move. A million thoughts were traveling thru her head.

What was all this?

The older gentleman whispered something to Ben and he finally turned around. She couldn't see his face because of his mask but she could feel the frustration coming off of him. He still slowly made his way towards her. Saya forced herself not to step away from him.

He finally stood in front of her, and they stared at each other for several moments.

She took a deep breath.

 _Ben, what is all this?_

He said nothing but held out his hand to her. Still shaking, she placed her hand in his and he led her down to the end of the room.

She took several deep breaths to calm herself. He wasn't angry and his frustration was gone. She wasn't quite sure what he was feeling now.

Once they stood in front of the man at the end of the room, Ben removed his mask and held Saya's hand in his again.

He gave a stern look to the man.

"Begin"

Saya looked at Ben, confusion clear across her face

The man cleared his throat and began speaking.

"We gather here today to join this man and woman in the bonds of…"

Saya couldn't hear what else the man was saying. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she swore she heard a ringing in her ears. Realization had kicked in…

This was a wedding. Her wedding. To Ben

She saw the man's lips move, but still couldn't her the exact words he was saying.

Why? Why was he doing this? To make her break another vow to the Healers Order? To own her completely?

She was drawn out of her thoughts when Ben finally spoke.

"I do"

She trembled when the old man looked to her.

"Saya, formally of the Healers Order, do you take Kylo Ren, Commander of the Knights of Ren of the First Order as your husband, to love, honor and obey from this day until the end of your days?"

Even if she could speak, she was sure she wouldn't know what to say. She always wanted to be with Ben. But this wasn't how she ever envisioned any kind of wedding they would have, if they would even have one.

Ben spoke for her

"Saya cannot speak. She consents to this marriage"

She finally felt a flash of anger and she glared up at Ben.

 _I never thought you would take advantage of me like this…_

His expression never changed but she felt the anger rise in him and he clenched her hand tightly in his. Not enough to hurt her, but enough to make a point.

"By the power given to me by our Supreme Leader, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Commander, you may kiss your bride"

Before Saya could even think of protesting, Ben turned her toward him, grabbed the back of her head, and kissed her. She couldn't help but take some pleasure in being held and kissed by him again.

After he finally broke the kiss, Ben turned to look at the man.

"Your services are no longer needed"

Ben placed the helmet over his head, took Saya's hand and let her out of the room. All fear seemed to have left Saya. Now she was angry.

He led her back to his room and she walked inside. Once they were inside, she stormed away from him and went into the bathroom, desperate for some space. Had the door till been intact, she would have closed and locked it behind her.

She splashed cold water on her face and let her hands clench around the edges of the sink, her head bowed down. She was angry and had no words to say to Ben just yet.

Out of the room, she heard the sound of him moving about the room. She wondered what he was doing but still didn't want to face him just yet.

Another minute later, she felt his presence in the doorway of the bathroom.

"Saya, look at me"

She didn't move

 _I have nothing to say to you at the moment_

A surge of anger "Saya, look at me"

She sighed and turned to face him. His mask was off along with his gloves and cape. She simply glared at him, waiting for him to speak

"I won't apologize for what I did. I'm sorry for how I scared you yesterday, but I have no regrets about this marriage"

 _As I said before Ben, I never once thought you would take advantage of me like this. My entire life, people have taken advantage of my silence. You have become just as bad as them._

Another rush of anger. "Would you have said no? If you were given the choice, would you have said no to marrying me? When we were children, you told me yourself you wished we could wed. And I made that happen."

 _Well my apologies then but this wasn't exactly the romantic wedding I always dreamed of. And I never even cared if we ever did get married! All I ever cared about was being with you._

"I made that happen as well"

She wanted to cry out in frustration but settled for walking past him and out into the bedroom. She wished she could leave the room, but there was no way he would let that happen. She huffed and turned to face him.

 _Why did you REALLY do this Ben? To make me break anther vow? To make sure it was impossible for me to return to the Healers Order!? How was I supposed to return to them anyway? We both know you won't take me back and I can't exactly steal a ship and go back myself._

"We both know you don't want to leave me as much as I don't want to be without you"

 _I told you Ben, I can't be a part of this! I watched as the First Order murdered thousands of people! And you stand with them!_

"I know it's hard for you to understand, but-"

 _No, don't give me that!_

Ben stopped, genuinely shocked at the way she was speaking to him. He couldn't deny that as much as he loved her innocence, he loved this new strength in her.

 _Stop saying I don't understand! I understand fully well that none of this is right! How can you expect me to stand next to you as you do these horrible things!?_

They both stared at each other for several moments. Saya glared at him, awaiting for him to speak. Ben stared in admiration of her newly found strength

Finally, he slowly walked over towards her and Saya couldn't suppress the flash of fear that went through her. But she stood her ground.

Ben stopped when he was right in front of her.

"Alright. Tell me you hate me"

She blinked.

… _What?_

"Look me in the eye and tell me how you don't love me. Tell me you hate me and never want to see me again. Say it without any anger and with sincerity. Say it, and I'll return you to the Healers Order. They will never know of our marriage. And they will never know the loss of your virginity"

Saya froze. Was he serious? She couldn't tell. Either way, she was at a loss for words.

She tried to take a step back but he quickly wrapped his arms around her. One around her waist and the other around her head, forcing her to look up at him.

"Say it, and I'll take you back"

She put her hands on his chest and tried to push him away.

 _That… that isn't fair…_

"How is it not fair? Tell me you don't want to be with me. Tell me you never loved me. How you hate me. Say it"

She tried to push herself away from him.

 _Let go of me!_

"Say it Saya!"

 _Ben, stop it!_

"SAY IT!"

Frustrated and exhausted, she finally looked up at him

 _I can't, alright!? I can't say it-_

Ben's lips crashed into hers and he held her tightly against him. She wanted to fight and push him away, but heat overcame her and she found herself kissing him back.

It took her several moments, but she finally got her arms free and she wrapped them around his neck. He took the opportunity to wrap his arms under her legs and she found herself wrapped around his waist and held up against the wall.

Their kiss was hot and passionate. Once she was secure against the wall, his hands roamed all over her body as he trailed kisses down her neck. She felt him suck and bite at her neck, hissing at the small amounts of pain but the pain was quick to be replaced with pleasure.

Last night was gentle and passionate. This was fast and rough. Saya wasn't sure what she preferred but found herself lost in the heat he was making her feel at this moment.

Her feet found the floor as his hands quickly lifted the dress up and over her head. She shivered at the rush of cold air suddenly hitting her skin and his hands tore her panties away

She had to make herself break away from him just to get air. Her head was light and it was hard for her to think.

 _Ben, please slow down!_

He acted as if he hadn't heard her. His hands were still traveling over her and he kissed and sucked at her skin. She would have marks all over her body by the time he was done

She found herself trying to push him away, trying to get some small amount of space between them.

 _Ben, this isn't right! Please, let's just talk-_

He either didn't hear her or ignored her. He was pressed up against her and his hands trailed down to her most sensitive flesh.

 _Ben, wait-_

It was too late. She gasped as he used his finger to pump inside her. In an instant, her arms wrapped back around him and she closed her eyes, trying not to moan.

His face was pressed back into her neck, panting

"Do you want me to stop? Say it and I'll stop"

She whimpered as he continued to pump his fingers into her.

 _This isn't fair Ben!_

She felt him smile into her neck "I never said I would play fair with you"

She moaned and he finally took his fingers away, making her groan in frustration. He lifted her back up and he carried her over to the bed.

As soon as they both fell into the bed, his hands frantically worked to free himself out of his pants. Before she could even take another breath, he pushed himself inside her and she gasped.

This time, there was no pain. Only searing hot pleasure. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist as he quickly thrust into her. This was not slow and tender. It was hard and fast.

And Saya loved it

Ben found his rhythm and trust into her, kissing her in between trying to catch his breath

He pressed his mouth against hers and looked deeply into her eyes

"I love you Saya. I will never let you go"

It didn't take long for them to finish. Ben collapsed on top of her, both of them trying to breathe normally. Both of them were covered in sweat and Saya couldn't resist stroking his hair.

Within minutes, they both drifted off into a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Next update! From here on out, the story should progress a lot faster now. I will also try and make the chapters longer. I hope to progress the story into The Last Jedi within the next couple of chapters.

Please leave reviews and let me know what you think!

Chapter 8

Saya woke to Ben rolling off of her, gently removing himself off of her and standing. Saya sat up, wincing at how sore she felt. She couldn't help but wonder if she would feel like this after every time they made love. Ben assembled his clothes and Saya silently grabbed a dress from the small closet next to the bed and put it on.

She turned to Ben and could feel the arrogance coming off of him. He won. He had always won over her. He took her from the Healers Order and caused her to break two of the three most sacred vows, causing her to be excommunication. Saya felt the strength she had from earlier was gone.

"Can you say you hate me now, Saya?"

She looked to the floor, feeling numb.

 _You know I can't Ben. You win. You always win._

Ben looked at her, still feeling victorious from earlier

"We're together now Saya. Now and always. You got what you wanted as well"

She finally raised her eyes from the floor, tears in her lavender eyes. Sadness came off of her in waves

 _No I haven't…_

Ben felt a flash of anger but Saya continued….

 _Do you know what I want, Ben? What I truly want? Yes, I love you. I always have and I always will. The idea of being with you for the rest of my life was a dream I always wished for. The hope of that happening was the only thing that kept me alive during our training on the planet together. But… not like this. We could have taken another path together._

She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to put strength behind her words.

 _Do you know what I dreamed of? What I prayed would happen? I wished you would have come to me during one of our nights together, telling me it was time to leave. We would have taken a ship together and gone to a new place. A planet far away where no one would know who we were. I wanted us to build a home together. A normal, quiet life together. No Healers Order, no First Order, and no Jedi._

She tried to continue staying strong, but the tears finally spilled from her eyes.

 _But you win, Ben. You took me from the planet the Order sent me to. I broke two of the three most sacred vows of the Healers Order because of you. You have the power you always wanted. And soon you will be just like your grandfather. And I am here, with no choice now but to stay and watch as you and the First Order destroy whatever you feel is in your path. You win it all Ben._

There was hard silence between them. Saya felt the urge to completely break down and cry her heart out, but she forced herself to remain standing and staring right into his eyes. He needed to know how serious she was. She poured all of her pain into every word she said and every tear she shed.

Saya waited for him to speak, but he stood silent. After a few moments, she finally felt a new emotion come from him. One she never once felt from him before

Was it regret?

She didn't know. Before she could try and figure it out, a loud pounding came from the bedroom door. Saya jumped and the new emotion was gone in Ben and replaced with anger and annoyance.

A voice came fast from outside the door.

"Commander, the droid has been found! The fleet is prepared to leave, at your command"

Ben looked back to Saya and he seemed torn. She simply wiped her eyes and sat back down on the bed.

 _Do whatever you feel you need to do. We both know I'm not going anywhere…_

Ben stared at her another moment. She knew he was struggling to say something. Anything. But he must not have found the words. He grabbed his helmet and rushed out of the room.

Saya couldn't hold it in any longer. She laid down onto the bed and sobbed into the pillows.

-!-!-!

Hours seemed to flash by for Ben. The First Order was not able to apprehend the droid. However, he finally found the map inside the mind of the scavenger from Jakku. The droid was now meaningless to him.

When the ship approached the planet, he set his thoughts on what was needed to be done for the First Order. Now as they returned to the base, the scavenger asleep and secured, his thoughts turned back to Saya.

For the first time in his life, he felt like a coward. He should have said something. ANYTHING. But he turned away from her, leaving her alone with the pain she felt.

He grit his teeth and clenched his fists. For the first time, he didn't know how to face her. She wasn't wrong. He could have taken a ship. He could have very easily. It would have taken time, but they could have built a life together far across the galaxy.

But it was too late for all that now. He chose the path to the Dark Side.

Once they landed, Ben ordered the Stormtroopers to take the girl to one of the interrogation cells. He quickly made his way back to his room. He needed to check on Saya. Hopefully, he would find the right words to say to her before he reached the room, but he also needed to be quick. He needed to get the map out of the scavenger, and quickly.

He forced himself to enter the room without hesitation. His heart almost sank when he found her curled into a ball on the bed. She had fallen asleep, crying.

He removed his helmet and quietly made his way around to her. Ben needed to see her face.

Saya's face was red and her eyes were puffy. Her arms curled around the pillow, desperate for something to hold on to.

Ben stroked her hair gently, but she didn't move.

He leaned down over her and kissed her forehead

"I promise, I will make you happy Saya. I swear it" He whispered to her

He replaced his helmet and exited the room.

-!-!-!

Saya woke up, having no idea what time it was. Ben was still gone, although she wasn't surprised.

She rose from the bed and went into the bathroom to splash water on her face. Her head ached from crying so much.

" _I promise, I will make you happy Saya. I swear it"_

She could have sworn she heard Ben's voice whispering to her, but it must have been a dream.

She walked out of the bathroom, ready to just lay back down and try to get her thoughts in order. But a noise from outside the door distracted her. She made her way to the door and pressed her ear against it. It seemed like several people were running thru the hallway, shouting at each other.

 _What else do I have to lose?_

She opened the door and, sure enough, Stormtroopers and other members of the First Order where running about, yelling commands and asking questions she didn't understand.

She wasn't sure why, but concern suddenly surged inside her.

 _Where is Ben?_

She didn't know why, but she had the sudden urge to go find him. Now

Without hesitation she left the room and quickly made her way down the hall, determined to find him

-!-!-!

The scavenger took far too long to wake up. He needed to make this quick.

Finally, she jolted awake and her eyes quickly found him

"Where am I?"

"You're my guest"

"Where are the others?"

"You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends? You'll be relieved to hear I have no idea"

He sensed her relief but it was replaced with anger quickly.

"You still want to kill me"

The scavenger rolled her eyes "That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask"

Yes, a creature in a mask. That was an easy way to explain to himself how he felt after leaving Saya in pain. But that would be fixed later. He needed to hurry this along.

Ben stood and removed his mask and saw the surprised look on the girls face. Her surprise meant nothing to him. He placed his helmet aside and stepped closer to the girl.

"Tell me about the droid"

She looked straight ahead and tried not to meet his eyes.

"He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicator-"

Ben tried not to let his frustration get to him.

He cut her off. "It's carrying a section of a navigation chart. And we have the rest, recovered from the archives of the Empire, but we need the last piece. And, somehow, you convinced the droid to show it to you. You. A scavenger."

He felt the sting of pain his words gave her, but it meant nothing to him. He stepped next to her and raised his hand. It was time to find the map

-!-!-!

Saya wandered the halls, frantically looking and trying to feel for his presence. The base was too large. She knew she shouldn't have expected to find him quickly. Perhaps she should try and reach out to him. He was easily able to hear her in his head when close to each other. Maybe he could hear her from a long distance?

She took a breath and tried to concentrate

 _Ben, where are you!?_

Saya practically jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand roughly grab her arm.

She was spun around to see a tall, red-haired General inches away from her.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded to know

Saya broke away from his hold and took several steps back, glaring at him. She could still feel his grip on her. If it wasn't for her gift of healing, it would have left a bruise.

The General took a step towards her, clearly angry she was stepping away from him.

"Just because you are Ren's little pet doesn't mean you can wander around my base as you please. He is not in control here!"

He made another grab for her but she dodged him.

Before he could try again, another man in uniform quickly approached them.

"General Hux, Supreme Leader Snoke demands an audience with you!"

Saya took advantage of the distraction to quickly run off in the other direction. She heard the General scream something after her, but she ignored it and kept running.

The feeling of dread was almost taking over her senses.

 _BEN, WHERE ARE YOU!?_

-!-!-!

Ben had enough. He saw many things in her head. The island, her loneliness, and her fondness for Han Solo. None of that meant anything to him.

He needed the map. He needed it now

The scavenger was stubborn

"I'm not giving you anything"

"We'll see"

He pushed harder, trying to hurry. He wanted to get back to Saya. He NEEDED to get back to her. He tried a final surge of power, but nothing.

Suddenly, the scavengers eyes opened and she glared at him.

"You… You're afraid… that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader!"

Ben gritted his teeth.

This was impossible! How does a scavenger know how to use the power of the force!?

He didn't back down. He needed that map

The girl suddenly snapped back, surprise clearly on her face.

"Saya… You're afraid of losing Saya"

Ben finally broke contact, gritting his teeth in frustration. She broke thru his own defenses in his mind.

She is strong with the force.

Before he completely lost his temper, he grabbed his helmet and rushed out of the room. He needed guidance from the Supreme Leader.

As he turned the corner, a sudden presence filled his mind.

 _Ben, where are you!?_

He froze and instantly began to look around.

No, Saya was in his room. That was impossible.

He quickly began making his way to the projection room, hoping to learn how to get the map out of the girl.

He was in front of the entrance of the room when he felt her presence in his mind again. This time, she completely filled his senses.

 _BEN, WHERE ARE YOU!?_

He stopped and looked around again. He couldn't see her or feel her near him. But something was off. He hoped his meeting with the Supreme Leader would be quick.

He needed to get to Saya.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Supreme Leader Snoke was not pleased. Even though his presence was only a hologram, his anger echoed thru across the walls.

"The scavenger… RESISTED YOU!?"

Ben didn't bother with formalities, such a bowing. He needed to be quick.

"She is strong with the force! Untrained but stronger than she knows!"

"And the droid!?"

Before Ben could answer, the arrogant voice of General Hux echoed in the room.

"Ren believed it was no longer valuable, that he could get the information from the girl. It is likely in the hands of the enemy. We've traced their location to the Ileenium system"

Snoke didn't hesitate.

"Then we must crush the resistance before they can reach Skywalker. Prepare the weapon"

General Hux hurried from the room but Ben ignored him.

"Supreme Leader, I can get the map from the girl. I just need your guidance."

Leader Snoke leaned down close to Ben

"If what you say about this girl is true… bring her to me"

Ben quickly bowed and hurried from the room, replacing his helmet as he went. He knew he needed to deliver the girl to him, but every instinct he had told him he needed to check on Saya.

He walked quickly thru the halls, ignoring the Stormtroopers and other lieutenants of the First Order. All of them were hurrying to their stations, eager to finally destroy the resistance.

The moment he turned down the hallway to his room, he knew something was off. He couldn't feel Saya's presence at all.

He ignored the feeling and entered the room anyway.

"Saya!?"

The bed was empty. He rushed into the bathroom, the door still gone. It was empty.

Ben felt his anger slowly rise inside him. He knew she couldn't possibly steal a ship for herself. She would have no idea how to fly it. Even so, he heard her calling for him. She still had to be on the base, looking for him.

He rushed out of the room. If she was on the base, he would find her soon enough. At the moment, he needed to deal with the scavenger.

As soon as he neared the door to the holding cell, he knew something was, again, wrong.

He entered the room and the scavenger was gone.

"No…"

Rage filled him as he drew his lightsaber. Saya was missing from his room and now the scavenger was loose aboard the base.

Ben screamed and let out his rage, completely destroying the room.

-!-!-!

Saya continued to run through the halls, trying to feel for his presence. She felt nothing. She continued running thru the halls, even running down several sets of stairs.

The floor she was on had very little lighting and grated floors, letting her see down to the bases reactor below. Saya felt fear and anxiety run through her as she ran down the halls, desperately trying not to look down.

Finally, after what felt like ages, she finally felt his presence. She hurried towards him as fast as her legs could carry her.

-!-!-!

Ben sent all the troops to storm the base and look for the scavenger. He was searching as well. If he found the scavenger, very well. But he was searching for Saya.

He reached the bottom floor of the reactor with two soldiers following, ready to listen to his commands.

Once Ben reached the long catwalk across the reactor, he froze. He felt a presence he hadn't felt in a long time.

Ben didn't even bother to turn to the men behind him.

"Leave me"

They quickly followed his orders and marched down the opposite hall. Ben slowly made his way across the catwalk, waiting for the man to make himself known.

"BEN!"

The deep voice echoed thru the vast room. He slowly turned and was not surprised. For the first time in years, he was face to face with his father, Han Solo.

-!-!-!

Saya felt more and more excited the closer she got to him. Something was happening. She wasn't sure how she knew, but the voice inside her screamed that she needed to get to Ben.

Finally, she turned a corner and entered a large room. This had to be where the bottom of the base was. Straight ahead of her was a long catwalk. Her heart skipped a beat when she finally saw Ben.

However, he wasn't alone. He was facing the other direction, facing the other person. This was where she needed to be. Saya knew it in her heart.

Ben's voice brought her out of her thoughts and she slowly made her way towards him on the grated catwalk.

"Han Solo. I've been waiting for this day for a long time"

Saya froze. Han Solo? He couldn't be… Ben's father?

It was hard to see the older man but she heard him walk towards Ben. She slowly and quietly made her was as well. He must not have felt her yet. Perhaps he was concentrating too much on the man in front of him.

"Take off that mask. You don't need it."

"What do you think you'll see if I do?"

"The face of my son"

Yes, it was his father. The father who left him alone to train as a Jedi. She remembered all the nights he poured his feelings of his parents to her.

Ben removed the helmet and Saya felt his anger rise inside him.

"Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him"

There was desperation in his father's voice.

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe, but it's not true. My son is alive"

"No. The Supreme Leader is wise."

Saya stopped a few feet away from Ben. Neither he nor Han Solo had noticed her yet.

"Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you. You know it's true."

Saya felt some of his anger leave him. It was again replaced with an emotion she had never felt from him before. One she couldn't identify.

"… It's too late"

"No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you."

Saya felt a stab in her chest. This could be it. Maybe this could bring Ben back to her.

She took a small step towards him.

 _Ben…_

His body tensed and she felt his anger rise again. Slowly, very slowly, his head turned over his shoulder and he looked at her

"You shouldn't be here, Saya"

She ignored his anger and took another step forward.

 _Ben, please…_

She couldn't form the other words. She was shaking too hard and her heart was pounding hard in her chest. But he knew what she was begging for. He knew it,

He turned back towards his father and she felt a new emotion from him.

Resolution. He had made up his mind.

Ben looked back to his father

"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?"

Han Solo stepped closer to Ben. Saya felt tears come to her eyes. Was he finally going to do it? Would he leave the First Order?

"Yes. Anything."

Ben's helmet dropped onto the catwalk and Ben held his lightsaber to his father, who reached out and placed his hand on Bens.

Suddenly, the room began to darken, leaving hardly any light in the room. Saya looked up and saw the light of the sun was slowly disappearing. It was also the first time she noticed two figures in front of the opening to the outside.

Saya turned back in time to see a bright flash of red light and to see Han Solo's eyes go wide in pain.

Time suddenly seemed to slow down. She heard cries and screams from the two figures. A different cry of pain somewhere else in the room, though she couldn't place the creature making it. Saya's hands flew to her mouth and her eyes went wide.

Ben's lightsaber was activated, and went right through his father's chest.

Ben was shaking and took a few breaths.

"…Thank you…"

He deactivated the lightsaber and his father dropped down the edge of the catwalk, disappearing into the bottom of the base.

Saya's hand still covered her mouth as tears streamed down her face. This was the resolution she had felt in him. He made his choice.

He chose the First Order.

Ben turned to face her. He held little expression as he looked at her.

"Why did you have to be here Saya?"

Finally, she felt regret in him. Not for what he had done, but because she saw it happen.

Time seemed to go back to normal as she heard the same growl in pain. From above, she finally noticed the large hairy creature up several flights of stairs. She saw him raise the blaster, and saw the flash of red.

 _NO!_

Without thinking, Saya ran forward and shoved Ben, causing him to fall onto his back.

Pain seared through her as the blast hit her square in the stomach. If she could have screamed, she was sure it would have filled the room.

Saya was blasted back and curled into a ball. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, her body automatically trying to heal itself but the pain made it impossible to concentrate.

This could be it for her. If she couldn't control her healing ability for herself, she will die.

The last thing she heard before darkness took over her was Ben screaming her name.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Ben rushed and picked Saya up into his arms. Blood was spreading over her clothes where she was shot. She needed medical attention immediately or she would die. A noise from behind him jolted his attention back to the scavenger and traitor.

He flashed around and saw the two of them still standing in front of the exit to the outside.

Ben had never felt more rage in his life than he did in that moment. They did this. Saya was dying because of them.

With lighting speed, Ben flung Saya over his shoulder and charged forward. He was going to make them pay for what they did. But Saya needed medical attention. He couldn't lose her.

The moment he turned a corner, he saw a group of Stormtroopers scrambling to leave the area.

"YOU!" he screamed. All the Stormtroopers froze and hesitantly turned to him. He ran forward and thrust Saya into the arms of the first one he reached.

"Get her to the medical staff, NOW! IF SHE DIES, YOU DIE!"

They didn't hesitate. They all rushed out of view, Saya in the arms of one of them.

Ben desperately wanted to follow, to make sure she would be alright. But the Supreme Leader gave him orders. Bring the scavenger to him. Killing the traitor FN-2187 would be a bonus for Ben.

He rushed through the trees, knowing the exact spot where he could cut them off.

After a few minutes of running, he finally reached the spot and ignited his lightsaber. A moment later, the scavenger and FN-2187 immerged from the trees.

Ben glared at them.

"Were not done yet!"

The scavenger glared at him "You're a monster!"

"It's just us now. Han Solo can't save you!"

In a flash, he saw the scavenger reach for her blaster. Too slow. With the flick of his hand, he used his power and she was rushed back and slammed into a tree.

"REY!" FN-2187 screamed, and rushed over to her. She wasn't dead. Ben needed her alive.

However, he did not need FN-2187

Ben watched as he rushed over to the girl, desperately seeing if she was alive.

"TRAITOR!" Ben screamed.

Ben watched in amusement as FN-2187 pulled out a lightsaber and ignited it. There was no possible way he would ever have the power to defeat him.

Then he recognized it. The color. The style of the handle. It was Luke Skywalker's old blade. The blade that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker, his grandfather.

"That lightsaber! It belongs to me!"

"COME AND GET IT!"

They charged at each other and the fight began. Within a few swing at each other, Ben knew FN-2187 had no power of the force.

Within a few minutes, Ben finally caught him off guard. FN-2187 lost his grip on the saber and it went sailing through the air and into the snow. Another swipe to his back, and the traitor fell into the snow.

Fine. He can bleed to death in the cold. Ben turned to the old lightsaber sticking out of the snow and extended his hand, expecting it to quickly fly into his grip.

However, no matter how hard he tried, the saber wouldn't budge. He tried harder. Nothing.

With no warning, the saber suddenly flew through the air, right past him and into the grip of the scavenger.

He stared at the scavenger while she also stared at the saber in disbelief. She truly had a great connection with the force.

The scavenger ignited the lightsaber and he ignited his own. Even with her strength with the force, she would still be no match for him.

She charged and the battle began again. He saw so many rookie swings and moves. She was untrained and all she had was her luck.

Around them the planet continued to shake and crack. The base was set to implode. He needed to be quick. He finally had her trapped between him and a ledge that had opened into the base. She was sweating and struggling to hold him back.

He would give her one chance before he had no choice but to finish this himself.

"You need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the force!"

She blinked and looked at him, as if finally coming to a realization.

She closed her eyes and he could feel her channeling her own connection. He gritted his teeth. She wanted to fight.

Her eyes snapped back open and she used all her strength to push him back. Surprised, Ben jumped back slightly and began to deflect her swings. He could feel the raw power she had.

But Ben had enough. He wanted to get this over with. He needed to get the girl to Snoke and get back to Saya.

The battle continued through the trees and the scavenger now easily deflected his attacks, his anger now increasing.

Finally, with one lucky swing, she hit him. He felt the slash of the lightsaber in his arm. He dropped to his knees while the scavenger took a few steps back, observing him. Anger seared through him. For a moment, he didn't care about Snoke's orders.

He wanted her dead.

He rose and charged at her, ready to end this. But again, she got the upper hand. With a final swing and a swift kick to his chest, he was thrown back into the snow with a large cut on his face.

He glared up at the scavenger as she looked down at him. He swore he could almost see pity in her eyes, and it filled him with more anger.

Before he could decide his next course of action, the ground opened up and separated him and the girl. She quickly ran through the woods as he slowly rose from the snow.

She would pay. The scavenger would pay for everything. But he had to leave. The base had to be evacuated.

And he had to get to Saya.

God help the resistance if he loses her.

-!-!-!

Sorry for the short chapter but this wraps up The Force Awakens. The next part of the story will go immediately into The last Jedi. Will update more as soon as I can!

Reviews are appreciated! I love the feedback!


	11. Chapter 11

The story now goes right into The Last Jedi. This part of the story will progress pretty fast. I will not be including anything from the resistance's perspective. Only from Ben, Saya, Ray, and Luke Skywalker's perspective. I'm very excited to branch out after The Last Jedi and break away from the story a bit. I can't wait to expand Saya's character.

Hope you enjoy! Reviews are appreciated

Chapter 11

Everything was a mess. Star Killer base had been destroyed, the Scavenger and the traitor FN-2187 escaped, and Saya was under heavy observation in the medical unit aboard Supreme Leader Snoke's ship.

Saya was very close to death when the medical unit got her. Ben had no doubt that the only thing that saved her was her power of healing. Her powers knew what to do, even that close to death.

Ben was reluctant to leave her side, even when Supreme Leader Snoke commanded his presence. But he had no choice. The medical unit was still working to save Saya, keeping her on constant monitors and an air mask to help her breath.

She was going to make it. But it would take quite some time before she was herself again.

Ben stepped off the elevator and into the Supreme Leader's chambers. General Hux had just finished his report and was smugly walking away. The First Order was on the verge of finally finishing off the resistance, catching them off guard as they were attempting to evacuate their own base.

He slowly approached the Supreme Leader and kneeled before him, fighting the feeling of wanting to wipe the smug look off of the General's face.

Supreme Leader Snoke finally acknowledged him

"You wonder why I keep a rabid cur in such a place of power?"

The Supreme Leader could always read his thoughts.

"A cur's weakness, properly manipulated, can be a sharp tool."

The Supreme Leader leaned forward. "How's your wound?"

Ben lowered his head in shame. "It's nothing"

Supreme Leader Snoke rose from his throne

"The mighty Kylo Ren! When I found you, I saw what all masters live to see: Raw, untamed power… and beyond that, something truly special! The potential of your bloodline. A new Vader!"

For the first time in a while, Ben felt pride

"However, now I fear I was mistaken"

The feeling of pride was extinguished in an instant and he looked up to meet the Supreme Leaders gaze

"I've given everything I have to you… to the dark side-"

"Take that ridiculous thing off!"

Ben hesitated but slowly removed his helmet, revealing the large cut across his face still covered by bandages.

"Yes… there it is. You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo"

Anger flashed through Ben

"I killed Han Solo. When the moment came, I didn't hesitate!"

"And look at you. The deed split your spirit to the bone. You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber! You were too concerned about your little healer pet to even win a fight with a scavenger! YOU FAILED!"

In a rush of anger, Ben tried to charge at him but the Supreme Leader was much faster. A blast of lightning sent Ben flying backwards and he hit the ground hard.

Supreme Leader Snoke wasn't fazed in the slightest.

"Skywalker lives! The seed of the Jedi Order lives! As long as he does… hope lives in the galaxy. I thought you would be the one to snuff it out. Alas, you're no Vader. You have fallen for the same weakness as Anakin Skywalker. You let compassion take over. You allowed that healer to distract you from the First Order!"

Ben rose to his feet, rage coursing through him

"Saya has made me more powerful than ever-"

"AND AT WHAT COST!?"

The Supreme Leaders voice echoed through the room and Ben was at a loss for words

"The power she gives you means NOTHING if you aren't even controlled enough to use it!"

Supreme Leader Snoke sat back down in his throne, now looking at Ben with boredom

"As I have said, you're no Vader. You're just a child in a mask"

Ben's fists shook with anger. He had nothing else to say. He turned to leave but the Supreme Leaders voice stopped him

"If you fail me again… You will be placing that healer's head at my feet"

Ben quickly made his way to the elevator with his helmet in hand, desperately trying not to snap and try to attack the Supreme Leader again.

Going down on the elevator, Ben stared at his helmet and had never felt more like a failure. He allowed the scavenger to escape. He allowed the base to be destroyed. He never got the map to Skywalker.

And worse of all, Saya was almost killed. He almost lost her for good. And now, if he failed again it was guaranteed he would lose her.

With no warning, Ben began smashing his helmet into the side of the elevator. Supreme Leader was right. He was no Vader. He was nothing like Vader. Vader was strong and had control.

He had nothing

As soon as the elevator doors opened, the two lieutenants that were awaiting him immediately stood to attention

Ben was quick to snap

"PREPARE MY SHIP!"

Ben stormed off to board his ship, leaving the smashed helmet in pieces on the elevator floor

-!-!-!

Pain. Searing pain is all Saya felt for what seemed like a long time. She had no idea how much time had passed. She could slowly feel her body healing itself.

Finally, Saya had the strength to open her eyes. Bright lights made it hard to keep them open but she forced herself to keep them open and try to look around. Once her eyes finally focused, she could see a large room with white walls and medical equipment all around her. Over her mouth and nose, she felt an oxygen mask. Medical droids hovered all around her along with a couple actual humans working different stations and looking at paperwork. She wondered if any of the humans here were actual trained doctors.

Saya slowly dragged her hand to her stomach and felt over the wound. She was heavily bandaged but knew that the worst of the wound was healed. However, it would still be a while before she would be fully healed. Saya tried to sit up in the bed but an alarm next to her bed started to go off.

The human doctors suddenly jumped and rushed over

"Miss, please lay down! You still need to heal!"

 _It's fine. I'll be alright. The wound is healing fine._

She continued to try and sit up, pulling the mask off her face

"Miss, please lay down!"

Saya looked at them and smiled to herself. She actually forgot they couldn't hear her. Ben was the only one that ever could hear her.

Saya sat up, ignoring the panicking doctors.

"Go get the Commander!" One snapped at the other

"No, you get him!"

"Are you crazy!? He will kill me if she gets up!"

"Better you than me! I'm in charge here!"

Saya stared in disbelief at the two bickering men. Shaking her head, she slowly slid off the bed and onto her feet. She took a few steps when a dizzy spell hit her and she collapsed to the floor. The doctors finally stopped yelling at each other and quickly got her back onto the bed.

"This never happened! We don't say a word! Deal?"

"Deal!"

Saya could have laughed at the two of them, if she wasn't so far gone already. She felt the darkness take back over and she fell asleep

-!-!-!

More to come as soon as I can!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Ben sat in the chair in the medical wing, sitting patiently as the small medical droid worked on healing the cut across his face. Had Saya been uninjured, she could have healed it in seconds with no scar to show. However, she continued to heal from her own injury and sleep in the medical bed next to him.

The First Order was able to take out most of the ships as they were escaping. However, he couldn't make the final shot into the Resistance's main ship. He couldn't kill his Mother. Although he didn't stop the other two TIE fighters from firing on the ship. He knew his Mother survived. He would have known if she didn't.

Ben was finally brought back from his thoughts when a presence made itself known, almost causing a chill to go up his spine. He felt great power of the force suddenly enter the room. It wasn't Saya's power. While her presence always filled his senses and heightened his own power, this was different. This was a different kind of power.

After looking around the room, he finally faced straight ahead and looked right into the eyes of the scavenger from Jakku.

Time seemed to slow as they stared at each other in amazement.

How was this even possible?

In an instant, the girl grabbed the blaster next to her and aimed right for his chest. He jumped at the sound of the blaster, but felt no pain. Looking around, she didn't even miss him. While he heard it go off, the baster shot disappeared right after she pulled the trigger.

He jumped up from his seat and glared at the scavenger. She wasn't even there.

Perhaps she could still be manipulated. He shot his arm out and concentrated.

"You will bring Luke Skywalker to me!"

Nothing. She only continued to glare at him. He lowered his arm.

"You're not doing this. The effort would kill you. Can you see my surrounding?"

"You're going to pay for what you did!" She snapped at him

He ignored the comment. "I can't see yours. Only you."

Ben continued to look around her. He saw nothing else out of the ordinary. Only her.

"No… This is something else…" He said it more to himself than to her.

When he finally looked back to the spot she was standing in, she was gone.

Ben slowly sat back down in his seat, feeling uneasy.

He had no personal connection with the girl. So why would the force connect them?

-!-!-!

Saya's eyes fluttered open for the second time. The lights were dim and it was easier for her to lift her head and look around. The room was almost empty, other than the one droid hovering around the room. However, the moment she was up, a small light on top of the droid turned red and practically flew out of the room.

She looked around and was thankful the two men were gone from the room. Looking beside her, she saw an empty chair.

Had Ben been here at all? Where was he?

Then, as if lightning has struck her, everything came rushing back to her.

Ben tricking her into marriage. Her searching the base, desperate to find him.

And Ben killing his father.

She felt tears fall from her eyes and she couldn't stop herself from sobbing. Everything came back to her. She ignored the sudden rush of dizziness and tried to stand, ripping the breathing mask back off her face. The wort part was the memory of his choice. He killed his father and made his choice of staying with the First Order over redemption and a new life with her.

Saya fell to the ground, arms around her stomach. Even with all that had happened, she still loved him. She remembered the shot from the blaster she saved him from.

All she had ever done was sacrifice for him. She sacrificed the Healers Order for him. Everything she had ever known, she gave up for him. She broke two of the three most sacred vows for him, giving up her virginity and marrying him. And he still chose the First Order over a new life with her.

Saya began wheezing, feeling herself begin to hyperventilate. She heard monitors begin to go off all around her. She ran a hand across her chest and finally noticed the large monitor sticking to her skin. She ripped it off, flinching as she felt it pull at her skin but she didn't care. She threw it across the room as hard as she could throw.

Saya began trying to stand when she heard a door slam open and heard the rushing of footsteps.

"Saya!"

She felt arms wrap around her and quickly lift her onto the bed. She was dizzy but knew who it was without even looking. His power and presence took over everything inside her.

It was Ben.

She heard the other doctors also rummaging around them

"Get a sedative! Quickly!" Someone yelled

Ben lifted her onto the bed and was attempting to place the air mask over her face.

She was able to knock the mask out of his hand and she felt frustration flash through him

"Saya, stop!"

She continued to try and get off the bed, despite him trying to hold her down

Saya felt something finally in her snap and she reached her hand out and wrapped a hand around his throat. Through tears and pain, she finally made herself strong enough to push her power into him, making him feel everything she was feeling.

In a rush, she made him feel her pain, sorrow, and heartache.

Ben froze and stared in awe at her newfound ability. She had never done this before. Even she didn't know until now that she could do it

Saya finally found her words.

 _Why… Why Ben!? How could you do it!? How could you kill your father!?_

Saya continued to sob while Ben seemed to be completely frozen.

 _WHY!? We had a chance to escape! Together! What else will you make me sacrifice for you!? WHEN WILL YOU EVER SACRIFICE FOR ME!?_

Saya was already close to the darkness when she felt one of the doctors grab her arm and administer the sedative.

She continued to sob until she had no choice but to fall back asleep.

-!-!-!

Ben couldn't stop himself from taking steps back away from the bed as the doctors rushed around Saya. One replaced the breathing mask while the other returned the monitor back to her chest.

He stared at her in amazement. Saya's powers had grown in a flash. He felt his own power heighten to levels he never thought possible. Was this because of the increase in hers? He didn't know. But at the moment, Ben didn't care.

Never in his life had he felt such pain before. If that was truly what she was feeling right now, he wanted to rip himself apart.

The doctors finally stopped rushing around and took deep breaths, finally getting Saya settled back on the bed.

"Commander, she needs to be observed for at least another 24 hours before we can clear her to leave the medical bay. We don't know what further damage she cause by trying to get out of bed."

Ben clenched his fists, anger rising in him.

"Is she stable now? Is she in any danger?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"No, she's fine now-"

"Get out"

The doctors shared glances of confusion with each other

"Sir-"

"GET OUT!" Ben screamed at them

They didn't hesitate a moment longer. Both quickly ran out the room.

Once the door was closed, Ben pulled the chair back up beside her bed and stared at Saya's face. He was gone for less than ten minutes when he got the alert that she was awake. He should have just stayed. He wanted to be there when she woke up. He failed at that.

Ben felt like a failure in a lot of things now. He failed the Supreme Leader. He failed the First Order. And now, he failed Saya.

All he ever wanted was to be with her and see to her happiness. The Supreme Leader promised him the power to do both. But that was a lie. He may be able to force Saya to stay by his side, but he was failing at making her happy.

Ben removed the glove from his hand and began stroking her hair. He loved her more than anything else in the galaxy. He couldn't bear to let her go. But how can he make her stay if he only made her miserable?

He sat like that for a while when he finally felt power fill the room again. It was the Scavenger again. He clenched his fists. Now was not the time.

He stood and looked straight ahead. There saw was, glaring at him again.

As frustrated as he was with her presence at the moment, he was still perplexed at the connection.

"Why is the force connecting us? You and I-"

She cut him off. "Murderous Snake! You're too late! I found Luke Skywalker!"

He took a step forward, anger inside of his again.

"Did he tell you what happened? The night I destroyed his temple. Did he tell you why? It's something I haven't even told Saya."

Ben didn't know why he said that last part. It seemed to just slip out. But it didn't matter

The scavenger snapped at him again "I know everything I need to know about you!"

"You do?" Ben observed her for a moment, recognizing the look in her eyes.

"Ah, you do. You have that look in your eyes. From the forest. You called me a monster."

"You are a monster!"

Her words hurt more than he wanted to admit. His gaze slowly made their way to Saya, his eyes locked onto her face.

"Yes I am"

If Ben had turned, he would have seen the shocked look on the girls face. But by the time he did look back, she was gone. Ben sat back in the chair and continued to stroke Saya's hair, contemplating every choice he ever made.


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes. I hope to sometime go back and fix them in the chapters. But right now I'm too excited to stop moving forward with the story at the moment. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 13

Rey followed Luke Skywalker into the large structure. She was ready for her second lesson, still hopeful for him to change his mind and follow her back to the resistance

Skywalker sat down next to the small disk of water on the ground

"Lesson two. Now that they're extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris."

"That's not true!"

"At the height of their powers, they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out. It was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader."

"And a Jedi who saved him! Yes, your father was the most hated man in the galaxy. He caused so much death and destruction for many years. But you saw there was conflict inside him! You believed he wasn't gone. That he could be turned"

Skywalker scoffed

"And I became a legend. For many years, there was balance. And then I saw…Ben. My nephew with that mighty Skywalker blood. And in my hubris, I thought I could train him, I could pass on my strengths. Han was… Han about it, but…Leia trusted me with her son. I took him, and about a dozen other students, and began a training temple. But I was no match for the darkness rising in him. Not even the young healer who loved him was enough to stop the darkness rising in him"

Rey blinked. "Healer?"

"Do you know what the Healers order is?"

"No, I don't"

Skywalker rolled his eyes. "I didn't think so. The Healers Order can be traced back as far as the beginning of the Jedi. Women who didn't become Jedi went into the Healers Order. They were once considered as powerful as the Jedi, but they have long been extinct in their own powers. Until Saya. Saya was the first woman in decades to actually possess the true powers of a healer."

"She didn't want to become a Jedi?" Rey asked

Skywalker glanced down to the small pool of water. "I don't know. I don't think she was ever formally asked. I went to the temple of Elders, begging them to let me speak to her, to train her. The power that girl held was incredible. With training, she could have easily been a powerful Jedi. But they wouldn't allow her to leave. Saya is probably the last of her race of people that held such incredible power."

"What people? I thought only a select few could be Jedi"

"That's true to an extent. There was one an entire race of people, all born with strong connections to the force. Especially the women. Strong conductors of the force, with the ability to share their own power with others. But they were destroyed by the Sith long ago. Saya was one of the last of the survivors of that race."

Skywalker took a breath and continued.

"They wouldn't part with her. She was sent to the training temple on the same planet my own temple was built. When I found out they had met, I prayed she would keep him in the light. I even went to beg the Superior Mother of the Order to keep allowing them to meet. But… she still wasn't enough… She couldn't stop the darkness from rising in him."

"What happened?"

"I went to confront him, and he turned on me. He must've thought I was dead. When I came to, the temple was burning. He had vanished with a handful of my students, and slaughtered the rest. Leia blamed Snoke, but… it was me. I failed, because I was Luke Skywalker. Jedi Master. A Legend. The only relief I felt that night was knowing the Healers Order evacuated the planet before Ben could get to Saya. She escaped with the other trainees. If he had gotten her, there's no telling what his power would be like now."

Rey thought for a moment

"I… I saw her… With him…"

Skywalker's head snapped up to her.

"What did you say?"

"I saw her on the base. She had long silver hair. I remember when I was in the same room, I never felt stronger!"

Skywalker slowly shook his head and looked back to the ground.

"If he is really reunited with her, then there's no hope. She can add to not only Ben's power, but to Snokes as well."

"…She may be dead. Chewie accidentally shot her. He was trying to shoot Kylo Ren, but she took the blast. I don't know if she survived…"

Skywalker sighed.

"It doesn't matter. The galaxy doesn't need me. It doesn't need a false legend"

"The galaxy may need a legend! I need someone to show me my place in all this. And you didn't fail Kylo Ren. Kylo failed you. I won't."

-!-!-!

Sorry for the short chapter. I wanted to write this as some insight as to how much Luke actually knew about Saya and her relationship with Ben. And to show the information Rey learns.

More to come soon!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Ben entered the hospital wing, ready to take Saya back to his room. He tried to make sure everything would be perfect for her, as this would be her first time in his suite aboard the Supreme Leaders Ship. Once she was herself again, he would show her the ship and trust her to leave the room without him. He prayed that would make her happy.

Saya was still asleep but the breathing mask had been removed and the monitors were removed from her chest.

Before he could approach her, one of the doctors hesitantly approached him.

"Commander, we found something we need to bring to your attention"

"What is it?" He snapped

The doctor reached a shaking hand out and Ben saw a very small chip in the palm of his hand.

"We found this in your wife's arm, Commander."

Ben looked at it, several different thoughts going through his head

"What kind of chip is it?"

"Sir, after some testing we discovered it is an infertility chip. Many women use them as standard birth control. We weren't sure if you knew about it or not."

Ben looked over to Saya. It's possible the Healers Order required the women to receive the chip. Although it's hard to believe such a strict Order would not trust their members to abide by their own vows.

The doctor brought him back from his thoughts.

"Commander, with the chip removed her system will go back to normal. What should be do with the chip?"

"…Can it safely be placed back in her arm?"

"Yes. We can do it now with no issues"

"Do it."

Ben knew a long time ago he wasn't meant to be a father. And Saya resigned to her fate to never birth children. Although he wondered why she never once told him about the chip.

The doctor sanitized the chip, placed it in a small insertion gun, and quickly inserted it back into her arm. Saya flinched as it entered her skin, but otherwise made no movement.

The doctor stepped away. "Her system will take 24 hours for the chip to begin working again"

Ben didn't bother responding to the doctor. He served his purpose. He quickly lifted Saya into his arms and exited the room.

The last 24 hours had been hell for Ben. The entire time he just thought of all the pain she made him feel and how he could possibly make her be happy to stand next to him. What Saya said was true, she did sacrifice almost everything she had ever known for him. But if he sacrificed the First Order for her, it would mean death for them both. The Supreme Leader would never just allow him to walk away.

It was too late for him. He was bound to the First Order.

Ben entered his suite and gently placed her on the bed, making sure she was tucked in under the blankets. His suite was larger than the one on Star Killer Base with plenty of books to keep her attention while he was away. However, Ben made it his every intention to only leave her side unless he absolutely had to. But he would also keep his promise to let her leave his room whenever she wished.

Ben sighed and removed his shirt, wanting a quick shower. He was determined to be in the room the moment Saya woke up. He gave several orders to his troops to not disturb him unless the Supreme Leader himself needed him.

Ben began to make his way to the bathroom when a familiar presence filled the room again.

"I'd rather not do this now" The girl said.

"Yeah, me too" Was his response. He turned to face the girl who was also turning to face him

"Why did you hate your fa-"She immediately stopped and blushed, in no way prepared to see him without his shirt. She looked away quickly

"Do you have something, a cowl or something you can put on?"

He ignored the question. He wasn't bothered at all with her seeing him this way.

She finally shook away her embarrassment and faced him

"Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer! You had a father who loved you, he gave a damn about you!"

"I didn't hate him" It was true. It didn't matter to him if he believed her or not.

"Then why…" She couldn't finish the question

He decided to push her. "Why, what? Say it"

"Then why did you kill him? I don't understand…"

"No? Your parents threw you away like garbage."

"They didn't!"

He almost smirked at her refusal of the truth. "They did. But you can't stop needing them. It's your greatest weakness. Looking for them everywhere… in Han Solo… now in Skywalker. Did he tell you what happened that night?"

"Yes" She said with confidence

"…No. He had sensed my power, as he senses yours. And he feared it"

"Liar!" She hissed at him.

He took a step towards her.

"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. That's the only way to become what you are meant to be…"

He meant every word of it. It was the only guidance he was willing to offer the girl

She gave him a skeptical look "And yet you keep the feelings of the past with you… your feelings for Saya"

Ben froze. He has no response. He didn't even know how she knew Saya's name. Before he could even think of a response, she was gone.

He looked over to Saya who was sleeping off the last of her sedative. She would wake up soon.

Ben hurried into the bathroom, hoping the hot water would help him clear his head

-!-!-!

Saya's eyes fluttered open and she slowly sat up. She wasn't tired or even groggy. Her hand slowly slid across her stomach. She was fully healed. She looked around the room.

This suite was slightly bigger than the one on Star Killer Base. The bed was larger as well but with the same black sheets she was used to seeing. There were also a larger variety of books on the shelves.

However, Saya didn't care. She swung her legs on the side of the bed and sat there. She could hear the shower running and knew Ben was not that far away.

How could she even face him? She made her feelings loud and clear in the medical unit. Did he hate her? Did he care about how she felt?

Saya had no idea and was admittedly scared of what would happen when they faced each other again.

Finally, she heard the shower turn off and after a few minutes she heard him come out of the bathroom. Saya made no effort to move. She kept her back to him

"Saya?"

She heard the concern in his voice. She wanted to be happy that he still cared, but still couldn't face him yet.

"Saya, are you alright?"

 _I'm fine. I'm fully healed no_ _w_

There was a moment of silence

"Saya, why didn't you tell me about the infertility chip? The one in your arm"

 _...I didn't think it would matter._ _Neither of us want children._

There was another moment of silence, then she heard him slowly walk around the bed towards her

"Saya, please look at me" His voice was soft, obviously treading lightly on his approach to her

However, she didn't raise her head.

 _I don't have anything else to say to you. I made my feelings clear. You chose the First Order over everything… above me…_

In a rush, Ben knelt down in front of her and gently used his hand to lift her face and meet his eyes. She saw a look of desperation in them. Something she had never seen from him before.

"Saya, please… I love you! I swear, I will do anything to make you happy!"

She didn't hesitate at all with her answer

 _You had only once chance to make me happy with you for the rest of my life Ben… and that chance ended the moment you killed your father…_

Saya swore she felt the air grow cold in the room and she felt his anger and frustration slowly rise inside of him.

Ben slowly stood and she braced herself for what was to come. However, he slowly stood and walked around her to the other side of the room.

Saya didn't even flinch when she heard the lightsaber ignite and hear him begin to yell and scream, tearing apart his own room. She even smirked at the memory of his temper. Even as children, his temper was thin. That hasn't changed in him at all.

In less than five minutes, the room had been torn apart. All but the bed she was sitting on. Saya couldn't help herself and passed a glanced at him from over her shoulder. His back was to her, clearly panting and trying to compose himself. The lightsaber was back at his hip. The books and other furniture took the full force of his rage.

Saya turned her head away, looking back to the floor in front of her. She tried not to be afraid of what was to come, but she couldn't hold her feelings down. She was positive he could feel it.

Ben was still trying to catch his breath when he spoke. "I never once wanted to make you afraid of me. Not once"

She wasn't sure what to say. Ben slowly made his way to the door of the room.

He stopped in front of it, hoping she would look up at him

"You won't find this door locked anymore Saya. You may come and go from this room as you wish"

All she could do was nod.

"… I'll give you some time alone."

Ben swiftly left the room. Saya was actually thankful he was giving her space but it probably wouldn't change anything. She loved him with everything she had but he had chosen everything over her and sacrificed nothing for her. She gave him everything she ever had.

Saya didn't cry. Perhaps she had no more tears to shed

Saya stood and slowly walked over to the large window that was against the wall, looking out into the stars and planets. She wondered which one they might have lived on, had Ben given her the life she always wanted for them.

A few hours later, she heard the door open and felt a chill go down her spine. Ben wasn't in the room. She would have felt his power. She quickly turned and saw two very large men dressed from head to toe in red armor.

"The Supreme Leader demands to see you"

-!-!-!

Ben found himself in his personal training room, desperately trying to stay and give Saya some space.

A few moments of meditation and the scavenger's presence one again filled the room. He looked to the girl to see a completely different view. She was soaking wet, hair down from her traditional buns and clutching a blanket.

She looked as lost as he did.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Ben had no idea why he asked that question

She shook her head. "No. I thought I'd find answers here. I was wrong. I only have more questions"

She looked up to his face

"Saya… is she alright?"

Ben was taken aback by the question. "How do you even know about her?"

"… Skywalker told me. About the healer who loved you. I saw her with you on the base. She took the hit from the blaster. Is she alright?"

Ben should have known Skywalker knew about her. "…Yes. She is alright"

The girl looked relieved. "I'm sorry she got hurt…"

Ben said nothing but looked back to the floor.

"And I'm glad you're not alone." His head snapped back up at her comment. She didn't have pity in her eyes. Just the truth of her feelings.

Without warning, the girl slowly raised her hand out to him. He was actually startled. Why would she do this?

A voice in his head whispered to him.

" _Take her hand"_

Slowly, he removed his glove and reached out to the girl. As soon as they toughed, she took a sharp intake of breath. It was truly like she was right in front of him.

They held hands almost the same was as friends do.

"STOP!"

Ben turned towards the shout and for the first time in many, many years he saw his uncle…

Luke Skywalker

Ben turned back and the girl was gone along with Skywalker. The force connection had been broken

" _Well done. She will come to you"_ The voice whispered

Ben dropped his hand and looked back to the floor.

He had never felt more lost in his life

-!-!-!

Saya felt the tight grip of the hands on her arms and the soldiers led her out of the elevator and into the Supreme Leader's throne room. The moment she stepped off the elevator, she felt his terrible power. It was overwhelming.

Once she was in the middle of the room, the soldiers released her arms and returned to their designated spots. However, her eyes were locked with the large man in front of her. But she wasn't sure she could call him man. The creature was large, old and disfigured.

This was indeed Supreme Leader Snoke.

He gave her an evil smile "So this is the healer that my apprentice has been obsessed with."

Saya tried to stand straight and show no fear

"Yes… I can feel the power coming off of you. I am almost tempted to keep it for myself. Your kind has always had power beyond comprehension"

Saya blinked.

 _My kind?_

Snoke smirked. "It is no surprise you know nothing of yourself. It's a shame you had such a limited education"

Saya wasn't surprised at all that he could hear her. He did hold the power of the force, after all

 _What do you mean by my kind? What do you know of me?_

Snoke ignored her question "I am thankful that Skywalker did not get his hands on you. You would have made a worthy adversary against my apprentice, had you been given the education of a Jedi"

This raised even more questions for her

 _What do you mean? I'm no Jedi! I don't have the power of a Jedi!_

"No… you have so much more than that. It's a shame. If I knew my apprentice could turn you to the dark side, I would love to see the extent of your powers with a full education of them. However…"

Saya suddenly felt herself lunge forward and she was set right in front of the Supreme Leader.

He leaned his face in closer to hers

"You have become a distraction… a hindrance to my apprentice. You are making him question all loyalty to the First Order… His loyalty to me"

He leaned in closer, his eyes staring into her soul.

"And that is why you must die."

Saya felt herself stand up straight as she glared at him

 _I'm not afraid of you_

I was a solid fact. She felt no fear of him

The Supreme Leader chuckled and leaned back into his seat

"Oh my dear… it isn't me you should be afraid of"

-!-!-!

The end of The last Jedi is almost here! Hope everyone is enjoying so far! _  
_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Ben forced himself to stay in his training room for a couple of hours before making his way back to his room. He had no idea what to say to Saya. Thousands of thoughts raced across his mind. He had to think of something. Anything.

In that moment, Ben would give anything, even his life, to make her happy again.

As Ben got closer to his room, he felt her presence was gone. Entering the room only confirmed what he already knew. Saya wasn't in the room. He did promise her no more locked doors. Perhaps she went for a walk.

Before he could exit the room, a knock was heard at his door.

"Commander, troops have spotted a ship in our field of sight. An escape pod is heading for our loading bay"

Ben instantly knew who it was. The scavenger Rey. He would have to wait to speak to Saya. Hopefully by then, Saya would be back in the room. Maybe even the resistance will finally have been destroyed and the war would be over. Their ships were running out of fuel at an alarming rate. Yes, it would all be over soon.

Ben swiftly made his way to the loading bay and made it in time to watch the escape pod land. Stormtroopers surrounded the pod, weapons drawn.

Ben ignored them all and made his way forward. Once the pod was opened, the girl was lifted out by two of the soldiers and quickly handcuffed. Ben took the lightsaber from her and began to lead her to the lift that lead to the Supreme Leader.

"Leave. I will escort her from here" He told the Stormtroopers following them. They quickly backed off and Ben led her into the lift.

As they made their way up to the throne room, the girl finally spoke.

"You don't have to do this. I feel the conflict in you. It's tearing you apart."

He tried to look forward and ignore her, but he couldn't help but listen to her words.

"Ben…"

His head snapped over to her. She was the first person besides Saya in years to use his real name.

"When we touched hands, I saw your future. A future for you and Saya. You will not bow to Snoke. I can help you have a future with her outside of the First Order. Please…"

To him, it sounded too good to be true. How he wished that was possible

"I saw something to. You will turn and stand with the First Order."

He watched the look of confusion dance across her face. In that moment, he knew he had some respect for her. Perhaps enough to help her see the truth.

"Rey. I know who your parents are."

The conversation couldn't go any further. The doors opened and Ben was forced to lead her forward, in front of the Supreme Leader.

Upon their approach, the Supreme Leader smiled. Ray took several more steps forward and Ben kneeled in respect.

Supreme Leader Snoke smiled at the sight.

"Well done, my good and faithful apprentice. My faith in you is restored. Young Rey… welcome"

Rey glared at him and Ben couldn't help but admire her strength while facing such danger head on.

"Come close child"

She didn't move an inch.

"So much strength. Darkness rises, and the light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, his equal in the light would rise."

Ben felt Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber fly from his grip and into the Supreme Leader's hand.

"Skywalker I assumed. Wrongly"

He placed the lightsaber on the armrest of his chair and continued to give a last smile to Rey.

"Closer, I said"

Ben felt the Supreme Leader use his power to force the girl forward.

Rey, however, still held her round.

"You underestimate Skywalker. And Ben Solo. And Me. It will be your downfall."

She finally stopped moving when she was placed in front of him.

"Oh, have you sensed something, a weakness in my apprentice? Is that why you came?" He laughed in her face. "Young fool. It was I who bridged your minds"

Ben's head snapped up and he unintentionally found himself glaring at the Supreme Leader

"I stoked Ren's conflicted soul. I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you. And you were not wise enough to resist the bait!"

It was then he realized whose voice it was that told him to take the girls hand earlier. It was the Supreme Leaders. Ben felt like a fool for not realizing it.

Rey was suddenly jerked forward and Ben watch the Supreme Leader lean in close to her face.

"And now, you will give me Skywalker. Then I will kill you with the cruelest stroke."

"No!" She said defiantly

"Yes" The girl was flung back and remained suspended in mid-air. Ben felt the power radiate off the Supreme Leader as he forced his way into her mind. She was screaming in pain within seconds.

Ben remembered when he first pledged himself to the Supreme Leader. He had undergone the same torture, to ensure he was fully committed to the First Order. He certainly couldn't blame her for screaming.

Without warning, the girl dropped to the ground, panting. The Supreme Leader began laughing.

"Well, well, I did not expect Skywalker to be so wise! We will give him and the Jedi Order the death he desires! After the Rebels are gone, we will go to his planet and obliterate the entire island."

Ben watched as Rey sprung to her feet and tried to use the force to take the lightsaber back from the Supreme Leader. He simply chuckled and used his own power and hit the girl in the head with it and whisk it back into its original spot.

"Such Spunk! Look here…" With the wave of his hand, he sent her over to the hologram of the battle outside of the ship.

"The entire Resistance is on those transports. Soon they will all be gone. For you, all hope is lost."

Ben suddenly felt his own lightsaber fly from his belt and into the girl's hands. He couldn't help but admire her strength and stubbornness in admitting defeat.

"Oh, still that fiery spit of hope! You have the spirit of a true Jedi!"

Rey charged at the Supreme Leader, desperation on her face. But to no avail. With one wave of his hand, the girl was knocked to the side and Ben's lightsaber slid out of her grip and back in front of him.

He gently took it and rose to his feet.

Rey found herself bund by the Supreme Leader's power and she was whisked to the side of the room. He finally addressed Ben who now stood, awaiting his next words.

"And now, my worthy apprentice. Show me where your loyalty lies. Show me that you are the true heir of Darth Vader. It is time to destroy the last of your weakness!"

Ben was confused at his words, but the moment the Supreme Leaders words left his mouth he snapped his fingers and the lift behind him opened.

Ben's senses were flooded with emotion and power and he heard the marching from behind him. He didn't have to turn and see who was behind him.

Within seconds, two of the Supreme Leader's persona guards dropped a small figure in front of him. He looked down and his entire body felt cold.

-!-!-!

Saya felt herself be flung to the ground and she quickly looked up into Ben's eyes. She couldn't feel his emotions like she usually could. But she was not quite herself. She felt drained and weak. Perhaps because of Snoke.

 _Ben?_

Ben's eyes never left hers, not even as Snoke continued to speak.

"Show me you have not fallen for the same weakness that destroyed Darth Vader! Show me that the same weakness that was in Anakin Skywalker does not exist within you! Destroy the last of your compassion and fulfil your destiny!"

His words echoed off the walls while Saya and Ben continued to stare into each other's eyes.

Finally, Ben Spoke. "I know what I have to do"

Saya felt a familiar emotion in him. Resolution. The same feeling he had when he decided to kill his father.

Saya closed her eyes and her head dropped. Small tears made their way down her face.

Saya heard an unfamiliar voice to the far side of the room.

"Ben, don't do this!"

Snoke laughed and Saya's mind drifted away for a few moments.

Away to their last night together their tree and under the stars…

-!-!-!

The sky was bright with stars as Saya and Ben laid in the sand, trying to make out different constellations and even see some shapes in the stars.

 _Ben, have you ever seen an ocean?_

"I did once, a long time ago. My mother took me when I was very young."

 _I've only read about them. I've never seen one. I heard it's beautiful. With warm sand and beautiful waves._

"…Would you like to see one someday?"

Saya smiled at him. _I would love to!_

Ben rolled over onto his side and lifted his hand. Saya lifted hers and they wrapped their pinky fingers around each other.

"I promise, I'll take you there someday! Just you and me!"

Saya smiled and gave him a small kiss.

 _I'll hold you to that promise…_

-!-!-!

Saya smiled at the memory even as Snoke continued to speak

"You still think he can be turned? Pathetic child! I cannot be beaten, I cannot be betrayed! I can see into his mind, I see his every intent!"

 _Ben… you never kept your promise to me…_

The excitement in Snoke's voice did not go unnoticed by anyone. "I can see him now, turning his lightsaber to strike true!"

No one saw Ben's opposite hand turning as well.

 _Ben, will you take me to the ocean if we meet again in the stars?_

His feelings of resolution hadn't budged an inch.

"And now, pathetic child, he ignited it and destroys the hindrance in front of him!"

Saya tensed up, ready for the blow

 _I love you, Ben… I will always love you…_

Saya heard a lightsaber ignite, but it wasn't his. Saya heard a loud thud and her eyes snapped open. Looking quickly to the side of the room, the girl had fallen to the floor, free of Snoke's power. Looking back behind her, Saya's eyes went wide.

A blue lightsaber had been ignited right through Snoke's abdomen.

Ben flicked his hand and the lightsaber flew right into the girl's outstretched hand.

Ben quickly helped Saya to her feet and their eyes met again. Saya could have cried tears of Joy.

He made his choice. He chose her.

She smiled at him, never feeling more proud of him. Even Ben smiled at her, but it was short lived.

"Ben!" The girl charged over with the blue lightsaber in hand. Saya then realized the new situation they were all in. Snoke's personal guards were closing in.

Ben grabbed her arm, spun her around and stepped in front of her.

Saya watched in awe as Ben and the mysterious girl began to battle the guards.

"Saya run!" Ben yelled to her.

She didn't move. There was no way she was just going to run. She wasn't sure what she could do, but she wasn't going to be a coward.

Saya did step back but watched in respect as Ben fought. She had never once seen him battle with his lightsaber. It was a sight to behold.

Ben single-handedly killed three of the guards. The girl had killed two. In front of her, one of the guards noticed Saya and charged at her.

In a panic, Saya grabbed one the fallen guard's weapons, a sword and held it in front of her. It was heavy and awkward to hold.

She quickly held it out as the guard began to swing his own weapon at her

 _BEN, I NEED HELP!_

Saya help him off, dodging him and the swings of his weapon. She felt foolish trying to use such a large sword but it was all he had. The guard lifted his weapon, ready to finish her but Ben's red lightsaber went right through his chest.

Ben's face was covered with sweat. "Saya, get out of here!"

 _I'm not leaving you here!_

Ben didn't have time to argue. He quickly turned and faced a new set of guards. Saya glanced over to the girl on the far side of the room. She had just finished another guard and was now facing another one.

Saya glanced back to Ben and her heart seemed to stop. Another guard was approaching from behind him and he had no way to defend himself.

Saya seemed to let her feelings take over. She grabbed the sword, charged forward, and thrust it through the guard's chest.

He swiftly fell to the floor, dead.

She looked over and Ben was in a choke hold from another guard.

The girl helped Ben before she could even move.

"Ben!" She tossed her lightsaber through the air and Ben used the force to catching. He quickly ignited it into the Guards head.

As fast as it had begun, the battle was over.

Saya looked down at the guard she killed and a feeling of dread washed over her.

That was it. The third sacred vow. Never take another life. Healers were to save lives, not take them.

Saya had now broken all three of the most sacred vows of the Healers Order.

She was jerked away from her thoughts as Ben grabbed her arm and turned her to him.

She stared into his scarred, sweaty face.

Saya began to shake and cry

 _Ben… I killed…_ She couldn't even finish her sentence.

He quickly pulled her into his arms while she silently cried.

However, the girl's voice broke them apart.

"Ben, the fleet!"

Ben released her and walked over to the throne that now had half of Snoke's dead body. The rest of him had fallen to the floor.

The girl frantically spoke. "Order them to stop firing! There's still time to save the fleet!"

However, Ben continued to stare at the throne.

"Ben?"

Saya walked to the center of the room, also wondering what Ben was thinking

 _Ben? Please order them to stop firing!_

It was another moment until Ben would respond.

"It's time to let old things die."

Ben turned and addressed Saya and the girl.

"Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels… Let it all die"

Saya felt as if cold water had been thrown over her and the girl had the same look of disbelief on her face.

Ben first addressed the girl in front of the screen displaying the massacre outside.

"Rey, stand with me. You can help me bring a new order to the galaxy."

"Please don't go this way… Ben please…" She was crying.

"No, you're still holding on! LET GO!"

Saya's head dropped to silently cry. She couldn't believe this was happening.

Ben continued to address the girl.

"Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known? Say it"

Rey silently cried.

"Say it!"

"They were nobody…"

Saya felt her body begin to shake. Part of her wanted to scream at Ben about how he knew so much about this girl. How much was there that he never told her about? Another part of her just wanted to run from him.

"They were filthy junk traders. They sold you off for drinking money. They're dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You are nothing… But you don't have to be"

Saya jumped when Ben finally said her name.

"Saya…together we can create a new galaxy in our image. There will be no need to run. No need to hide. You and I will rule this galaxy together"

Saya began to shake her head

 _No Ben… please, don't do this! This isn't what I want at all!_

She felt his rage and frustration come off of him in waves.

"We don't have to run to be together! You and I will stand together and rule over this galaxy!"

Saya stared at him, not wanting to believe he was going down this path.

He sighed and held his hand out to her.

"Saya… Please… We can finally be together this way. Please…" He finally looked as if he was pleading with her.

Saya didn't know what to do. This was not what she wanted. Not at all. All she wanted was him. To be with him.

Maybe this was it. Maybe she would have to accept that this was the way things were going to be.

At least she would be with him. Even if she would silently suffer. Saya saw no way out of this. Either way, she was going to lose. She was either going to refuse and risk her life to escape from him, or stand next to him and watch others suffer under his rule.

She couldn't win. Once again, he was sacrificing nothing for her…

Before she could react, Saya felt a burst of energy and was flung back. She looked up and saw the girl, Rey, trying to get her lightsaber back from Ben who was also fighting to keep it from her.

Both were equal in power. There was no way either would win or lose to the other.

Saya gathered her strength and began to charge forward. This needed to stop. And now.

She reached her hand out, close to grabbing the lightsaber from between them.

"SAYA, STOP!" Ben screamed.

It was too late. Before Saya could reach it, the lightsaber broke in half and flung them all back.

Darkness took over Saya as she felt the entire ship rattle and shake.


	16. Chapter 16

Final chapter of The Last Jedi! I'm also slowly going back to correct my stupid grammar/spelling mistakes. Hope you all enjoy! Can't wait to finish this part of the story and move on with Saya's story. All reviews are appreciated!

Chapter 16

Saya groaned and forced her eyes open. Her head was pounding and she sat up. The throne room seemed to almost fall apart. The ship had clearly taken a lot of damage, although Saya had no idea how.

She looked around frantically to see Ben on the opposite side of the room, unconscious. She quickly stood and began to rush over to him.

However, half way over to him, Saya froze. She glanced at the other woman on the opposite side of the room, also unconscious.

What would Ben do to her if he woke up first? She knew that if she helped Ben first, he could take her prisoner or even end her life. She forced herself to change direction and knelt down next to her, placing her hand on the girl's chest.

No major injuries. And easy heal. Saya concentrated her power and within moments, she was fully healed.

The girl gasped and immediately sat up. Saya quickly stood and backed away, not sure what the girl would do. The girl jumped to her feet and immediately locked eyes with Saya.

Saya took a breath. _Can you hear me? You must have the power of the force if you can battle all those guards. Please tell me you can hear me._

The girl looked taken aback for a moment, obviously started at how Saya was communicating to her.

"Yes… Yes I can"

 _You need to leave, now! I don't know what Ben will do when he wakes up! Please run while you still can!_

They both glanced over at Ben, who was still unmoving on the ground.

The girl took a step towards Saya

"You… You're Saya, right? The healer?"

Saya was taken aback. _How do you know me?_

"Luke Skywalker told me about you! He said you were the healer that loved Ben."

Saya looked confused and the girl continued

"He said he knew about you meeting with him during his training. Before he turned to the Dark Side"

Saya suddenly couldn't stop the tears in her eyes. She bowed her head and cried.

 _I-I'm sorry… I'm so sorry! I tried so hard to keep him from this path. To leave the First Order with me. But it wasn't enough… I wasn't good enough…_

With no warning, Saya felt the girl's arms around her.

"I know… its ok. I had faith in him to. I hoped he would turn…"

Saya found some small comfort with her hug but took a step back.

 _Who exactly are you? And how do you know Ben?_

She gave Saya a small smile. "My name is Rey and… well, I don't know him on any personal level. I was there, on the base when you were shot. Snoke connected our minds and, well, that's how I really learned anything about him"

Saya nodded in understanding. Of course Snoke would be involved. He manipulated everything and everyone around him.

 _Please don't wait any longer. You have to leave, now! Please go and help the resistance escape!_

Rey grabbed her hand. "Come with me! You can help us! The Resistance needs all the help it can get right now!"

Saya was taken aback.

 _How can I possibly help? I'm practically useless besides to heal! And you can always go to the Healers-_

"Saya, you can do so much more! Please, I'll tell you everything I learned from Skywalker. He knew so much about you and your power. Please, come with me and I'll tell you everything once we help the resistance!"

So many thoughts were going through Saya's head. She never in a million years thought this was an option for her.

Before she could even think of any reason not to go, Saya could hear a small voice in the back of her head

" _Go with her… go and follow the path that will lead you to the truth you should have learned long ago…"_

Saya didn't know why, but she had to listen to the voice inside her. Was this the power of the force speaking to her?

She nodded to Rey who smiled at her. "You will be a great help to us, Saya!"

Rey rushed over and grabbed the now broken lightsaber pieces. Once grabbing them, she rushed over to the side of Snoke's throne.

"Behind his chair! There's an escape pod!"

Saya nodded and began to rush forward but again stopped half way over to Rey.

Saya looked over at Ben, pain and heartache emanating through her body. That wasn't her Ben lying of the floor. Her Ben disappeared the moment he made his choice to take over the First Order.

That was now Kylo Ren.

"Saya, we need to go!"

Saya wiped the tears from her eyes

 _I'm sorry Ben… I will always love you… please come back to me soon!_

With those last words, Saya ran after Rey and followed her to the escape pod

-!-!-!

It took Ben a bit longer than the girls to wake up. He was angry to see the first face he saw was General Hux's angry scowl.

"What happened?" He snapped at Ben.

Ben gritted his teeth and rose to his feet.

"The girl murdered Snoke." Ben took in his surroundings, seeing the destroyed room. "What happened?"

"They took Snoke's escape craft"

Wait….THEY?

Ben's head snapped around and he felt rage build inside him. Saya was gone. The scavenger took her. At least, that's what he told himself.

 _I'm sorry Ben… I will always love you… please come back to me soon!_

Those words echoed in his head as he clenched his fists and began making his way to the lift.

"We know where they're going. Get all our forces down to that base. Let's finish this"

He would kill them all… kill them all and take Saya back…

General Hux began to snap back. "Finish this? Who do you think you're talking to!? You presume to command my army!? Our Supreme Leader is dead! We have no-"

Ben had enough. He turned quickly and raised his hand. It was easy for him to begin crushing Hux's throat with his power.

"The Supreme Leader… is dead!" He said through gritted teeth

Hux was on his knees, desperate for breath. "Long live… the Supreme Leader"

Yes. Snoke was as dead. Ben Solo was dead. Long live Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

-!-!-!

It was cramped in the escape pod, but the trip was a short one. Rey assisted Saya up the ladder that connected them to the Millennium Falcon. As soon as Saya was on board, she jumped back at the large hairy creature in front of her.

It gave a small roar at her and Saya tried not completely cower behind Rey.

"Chewie, no! It's ok! She's here to help us!"

The creature, Chewie, seemed to look Saya over and give a small nod. He made some other small growling noises. Rey seemed to have no problem understanding him.

"Chewie, we need to hurry! The First Order is after the resistance!"

They both rushed to the front of the ship and Saya followed close behind. Chewie and Rey took the piolet and co-pilot seats while Saya took a seat behind them, watching them begin to navigate the ship. Saya longed to be able to know how to fly ships like these. Perhaps she could sometime learn as well.

Saya was nervous as the ship soared through the stars and they quickly made a dive to the planet the Resistance must have been stationed at. Rey stood again as the ship became stable.

"Chewie, take over! We need to get ready to fight back!"

Rey grabbed Saya's hand and began rushing her to the back of the ship.

"How good are you at shooting a quad laser?"

Saya blinked. _I don't know… I've never used any weapons._

Rey blinked. "Oh… well, first time for everything!"

Saya was pushed into.

"Ok, quick lesson! The handles here" she pointed "Control the gun on this side of the ship. This button" She said pointing "Shoots the gun! Be ready to shoot on sight"

Saya sat and began to shake

 _Rey, I have no idea what I'm doing!_

"It's ok! Just do what you can! I have to help Chewie fly the ship!"

Saya looked down at the controls and, with shaking hands, took hold of the handles.

"Saya, watch out!"

Saya's eyes quickly locked eyes with a First Order ship rushing at them with lightning speed. She had no idea how she did it, but in a flash Saya grabbed the levers, aimed, and fired.

The ship was taken down in a single blow.

Both Rey and Saya looked outside, absolutely flabbergasted.

"Saya… You're a natural!"

-!-!-!

The troops were in front of the stronghold that held the remaining Resistance members. It was time to end this war once and for all. The battering ram cannon will easily blast an opening inside for his troops to bring them to an end.

Charging forward, Resistance pilots began coming after them from the stronghold. They would die for nothing.

General Hux cleared his throat. "13 incoming light crafts. Shall we hold until we clear them?"

"No. The Resistance is in that mine. Push through"

Shortly before he could give the order to fire the cannon, Kylo Ren saw the flash of a familiar ship. The millennium Falcon. His father's ship.

Kylo Ren gritted his teeth and was about to give the command for open fire on the ship until a flash of a familiar presence made his heart skip a beat. Saya was aboard that ship. He could feel it. Even from this distance, he could feel her power.

"Follow that ship! Bring me back my wife!"

The TIE fighters outside were quick to receive the order and most began following after the ship. The Resistance continued to charge forward in their ships, desperate to stop the cannon.

It made no difference. They couldn't stop what was to come.

"All firepower on those speeders!" Kylo ordered

"Concentrate all fire on the speeders!" Hux followed.

Kylo shot a glare at Hux.

-!-!-!

Saya began to panic as more ships began to fly at them.

 _Rey, more are coming!_

"Just keep shooting down as any as you can" She called from the cockpit

Saya had no idea how or why, but her instincts told her what to do. Which way to move, when to shoot. She just knew what to do.

She didn't relish the feeling of taking lives. She was raised to heal, not kill. But Saya knew that if she didn't, they would die. This was self-defense, not flat out murder. At least, that's what Saya was telling herself.

Several ships were taken down before Rey and Chewie flew the ship into a crevice in the planet.

"Saya, come back to the cockpit!" Rey called out.

She didn't need to be told twice. She quickly climbed out and rushed to the seat behind Chewie and buckled in.

 _Was I alright? Did we get them all?_

Rey smiled back at her. "You did great!"

Saya smiled, feeling good about herself for the first time in a long time.

-!-!-!

The TIE fighters were gone but Kylo still had his forced on the ground ready to attack. The cannon had done its job. His army now had an entrance inside to the Resistance and the speeders had retreated back inside the base.

"General Hux, advance. No quarter. No prisoners. Bring my wife back to me"

Soon, it would all be over.

As the Walkers began to march forward, a lone figure began walking out of the stronghold. A chill went up Kylo's spine as the figure became clear to see.

It was Luke Skywalker.

"STOP!" He commanded. Everyone froze as Kylo's rage began to take over

"I want every gun we have to fire on that man…"

Everyone in the ship began glancing at each other, not certain if he was serious or not

"DO IT!"

They didn't hesitate any longer. The Walkers began to fire everything they had on Skywalker.

"More!" He yelled, his fists clenched to the point of pain. It didn't faze him in the slightest

"MORE!" HE screamed again. He wanted him dead. He wanted Skywalker to be blown to a million pieces.

After another moment, Hux finally spoke out.

"That's enough!"

The guns slowly stopped firing. Hux gave him a sarcastic look.

"Do you think you got him?"

Kylo still glared at the spot Skywalker stood, trying to calm his breathing as the dust cleared.

However, his rage was quick to return as the dust settles. Skywalker still stood there and brushed the dust off his robe.

Fine. He would finish this himself.

"Bring me down to him. Keep the door covered and don't advance until I say"

Hus quickly stepped up beside him. "Supreme Leader, don't get distracted. Our goal-"

He was quickly slammed to the side of the ship with a single flick of Ren's hand.

"Right away sir!" The pilot said quickly.

His blood boiled as the ship landed and he stepped off the ship.

His uncle looked unfazed as Kylo dropped his cape onto the ground and drew his lightsaber.

He glared at the Jedi in front of him.

"Did you come back to say you forgive me? To save my soul!?" He sneered.

Skywalker calmly shook his head. "No."

That simple answer set Kylo off. As soon as Skywalker drew his own lightsaber, Kylo charged at him, ready to kill him at long last.

-!-!-!

The TIE fighters were gone and now Rey and Chewie focused on finding a way to get the last members of the Resistance out of the stronghold and escape to safety.

"The beacons right beneath us. They have to be here somewhere. Keep scanning for life forms!"

After another few minutes of flying Rey jumped up, startling Saya and Chewie.

"I see them! Chewie, there!"

Saya had no idea where she was pointing but the ship dived and landed. Rey hurried outside of the ship while Chewie stayed in the pilot's seat, ready to fly the moment everyone was on the ship.

Saya cautiously followed Rey. She wanted to help but was also worried of being in her way of whatever she was doing.

Saya watched from the entrance of the ship as Rey stood in front of a large pile of boulders.

 _Rey? What is it?_

Rey stood there for a moment. "I can feel it. They are right there"

Saya looked ahead and saw only rocks and boulders.

Rey closed her eyes and lifted her hand.

-!-!-!

Skywalker did not attack Kylo at all. He simply dodged every attack Kylo hurled at him. Finally, Skywalker lowered his lightsaber and gave Kylo a sympathetic look.

"I failed you Ben. I'm sorry"

"I'm sure you are! The Resistance is dead! The war is over! And when I kill you… I will have killed the last Jedi!"

Skywalker gave a small smile, infuriating Kylo even further.

"Amazing. Every word of that sentence is wrong."

Skywalker stood tall in front of Kylo.

"The Rebellion is reborn today. The war has just begun. And I will NOT be the last Jedi"

Kylo clutched his lightsaber. Of course he was talking about the scavenger.

"I'll destroy her. And you… ALL OF IT!"

"No. Strike me down in anger and I'll always be with you. Just like your father. And if you continue down this path… You will never have Saya again…"

Kylo had enough. With one final scream, he charged right at Skywalker and swing his lightsaber. However, something was wrong. He literally went through Skywalker.

Kylo slowly turned to see Skywalker smirking at him. He held out his lightsaber and it went right through his chest.

This was a projection. Skywalker wasn't actually there.

"See you around, kid"

Then Skywalker disappeared, leaving Kylo shaking in rage. He turned to the opening of the stronghold. It was all a ruse. The Resistance was probably long gone by now.

Kylo screamed in rage and hate.

-!-!-!

Saya watched in awe as Rey slowly lifted the boulders to reveal the entrance into the cavern. As she dropped the boulders to the side, people began swarming out of the opening and Saya was suddenly filled with dread.

What would these people think? She was with the First Order for quite some time. And she was also married to the now Supreme Leader. What would happen if any of them found out exactly who she was?

She quickly stepped to the side as people began rushing into the ship. None of them seemed to even notice her. She did note all of the injured members being brought on board. She would happily help them if they allowed her.

Finally, Rey ran aboard the ship and turned, ready to close the ship and prepare to fly. However, once she turned around she froze.

 _Rey? Are you alright?_

Saya stepped up beside her and looked outside.

She felt her heart stop and her breath caught in her throat. She saw her Ben kneeling down on the ground and glaring up at Rey.

 _Ben?_

As if hearing her, his eyes met hers and his entire look changed. It went from a look of pure hatred to a look of longing.

Saya wanted to run to him, to comfort him. But she wouldn't let herself.

That wasn't her Ben. That was Kylo Ren.

She continued to stare at him, gentle tears she didn't know she was shedding falling down her cheeks. They both stared at each other until Rey closed the door.

"Saya, are you ok?"

Saya wiped her cheeks and nodded.

 _Did you see him too?_

"…I did. I'm sorry Saya."

She nodded and raised her head to meet Rey's eyes.

 _Rey, please don't tell anyone who I am to him. Please, as far as anyone knows, I was just a captive of the First Order._

Rey quickly nodded. "I understand. I won't tell anyone about you and Ben"

Both turned and walked into the other room with the last members of the Resistance. Many were flocking to comfort each other or help the injured. Chewie was already flying the ship away from the planet.

Before Saya could make her way to the injured members, a voice made her jump.

"SAYA!?"

She looked ahead and saw a familiar face. The piolet back from Jakku, Poe Dameron.

They stared at each other for a moment before Poe rushed up to her and grappled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry I left you there! I didn't even think they would keep you captive this entire time!"

Saya gently hugged him back, thankful he actually remembered her.

He slowly broke the hug, giving her a small smile. Rey walked up behind him and cleared her throat

"How do you two now each other?"

Poe smiled at Saya. "It's a long story. I'll tell you later."

Saya gave a small smile back but her attention was quickly drawn to the corner of the room.

A small team pf people was crowded around a young woman who was obviously on the verge of death. Saya quickly made her way over only to be pushed aside by a random person.

"Move! We're trying to save a life here!"

Poe and Rey quickly stepped up behind her.

"Let Saya help! She can heal her!" Rey snapped.

The man gave a skeptical look.

"What the hell can she do that we can't!?"

"Tyron, move!" Poe snapped.

The man huffed and moved aside.

"Everyone, move aside! This little lady thinks she's a miracle worker!"

All the other people moved away from the girl. All but one young man.

"Rey, we need to save her!" He said in a panic.

"It's ok Finn. Saya can help"

Saya slowly took steps forward, feeling the eyes of the entire Resistance on her. She placed her hands on the girl's chest. She had many injuries. Concussion. Some broken bones. Internal bleeding.

She concentrated all her power and felt the girl injuries slowly disappear.

A minute later, the girl suddenly sat up, gasping for breath.

"Rose!" The man, Finn, lunged and hugged the now conscious girl.

Saya took several steps back and collected herself. It took a lot of energy to heal injuries that serious. Many gasped and whispered to one another, still staring at Saya.

 _Rey, tell them to please let me help the others… I want to help…_

"Everyone, Saya was a captive from the First Order! She's a healer! She can help the injured!"

Everyone was suddenly all smiles and she felt someone grab her wrist and begin leading her to another injured member. As she was being led away, she felt the glare from the man named Tyron. He must have been the doctor for the Resistance.

Saya spent several hours healing the injured, stopping to rest periodically to gain the energy back to heal more people. When everyone was finally healed, Saya felt the ship finally land.

An older woman stepped in the middle of the room and addressed everyone.

"Everyone, we are here in hiding with an old ally of the Resistance. They are willing to shelter us for the time being until we decide on our next course of action. Let us rest for now and begin to plan for the future."

Many nodded in agreement and everyone slowly made their way off the ship. As Rey got closer to Saya, she gently took her hand

 _Rey, who was that woman who was just speaking?_

Rey looked startled "Oh, That's General Organa! She's the leader of the Rebellion! I'm sorry, I should have introduced you to her!"

 _Please don't! Not right now please. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all this. I'm not even supposed to be here._

"What do you mean? You can be a member of the Resistance! I can help you ask the General-"

 _If the Healers Order finds out where I am, they will demand I return to their temple. I made vows that are supposed to last for my lifetime_

Not that it mattered, Saya supposed. She did, after all, break all three of the most sacred vows of the order. But that wasn't something she was ready to tell Rey just yet.

A throat was cleared from behind Rey and both girls turned. Saya turned red. It was General Organa.

"Are you ladies going to leave the ship or keep up this one sided conversation."

Saya turned red in embarrassment.

Rey straightened herself. "Leia, this is Saya. She was with the Healers Order but was a captive of the First Order."

Leia smiled at Saya "Thank you for healing our members Saya. I'm forever grateful"

Saya gave her a small smile.

"Would you like us to contact the Healers Order? We can help you get home if you wish"

The color drained from Saya's face and Leia's face went from one of gratitude to concern.

"Saya, are you alright?"

Rey quickly stepped between them.

"Saya cannot speak in the normal way. I can hear her in my head but she can't vocally speak. Saya hasn't decided on where she wants to go just yet."

Leia gave Saya a look that made her feel as if Leia pitied her. Or maybe she was just understanding of her situation.

"…I understand. You are free to stay with us until you decide."

Slowly, the women finally made their way off the ship and they were approached by an old man and a young woman in a white cloak, hood covering her face.

"General, welcome!" The man said with a smile and open arms.

"Torvalt, good to see you." She gave him a small hug and they continued to smile at each other. "Thank you for letting us stay with you for the time being"

Saya looked at the large mansion in front of her. Yes, there was certainly enough room for everyone.

"It's no problem at all General! I'm sorry I didn't have enough resources to help with your initial escape. I hope you will forgive me"

"Your shelter is more than enough. Thank you"

The old man continued to smile. "Well, I also procured a healer to help your crew but it seems as though you made it out with no injuries!"

Leia turned and smiled at Saya. "We were very lucky to have a skilled healer at our service"

Saya turned bright red as everyone turned to look at her.

"SAYA!?" A voice suddenly snapped

The woman in the white cloak suddenly lowered her hood and Saya recognized her immediately.

It was Sharazad from the Healers Order. Saya remembered all the times this girl teased and bullied her during her training and even during her penance for seeing Ben. The girl hated Saya then and it was obvious she still hated her now.

Sharazad marched right up to Saya, glaring into her face.

"Where have you been!? Superior Mother and the Elders have been waiting for you to return to the Elders Temple for months!"

 _I-I'm sorry…_

The girl couldn't hear a word of it. Although it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway.

"Just wait until Superior Mother gets her hands on you! She is furious!"

Sharazad quickly ran into the temple while Saya watched in a panic.

"Hey, stop!" Rey screamed after the girl, but she was already gone.

Saya began shaking and tried not to cry. She was so tired of crying and being weak all the time.

Rey gently took her hand. "Remember Saya, you don't have to do anything you don't want to"

Saya nodded but continued to look at the ground.

Leia cleared her throat.

"I think it's time we all went inside"

The women silently followed Torvalt inside, all exhausted and wanting to rest. The man opened one of the doors down a hallway and ushered them inside.

"It… seems like you all may have some talking to do. Please feel free to use this room as you please"

Leia thanked him and ushered Rey and Saya inside. The room was dimly lit with a couple of small couches and even some fruit on the table.

Saya flopped down on the couch and buried her face in her hands. She was tired. So tired.

"Saya, are you ok?" Rey asked.

 _I… I don't know… I don't know what to do right now…_

Before anyone else could say another word, the doors of the room were suddenly slammed open.

"SAYA!"

Everyone jumped and looked to the angry woman in the doorway. Saya felt her blood run cold.

It was the Superior Mother. Behind her was a very smug looking Sharazad.

"Saya, where have you been!? And what in God's name are you wearing!?"

Saya realized she was still wearing one of the black dresses Ben had given her on the First Order ship.

She began shaking and Rey stepped in front of her.

"Who are you? What do you want!?"

The Superior Mother looked at Rey as if she was garbage.

"I am the Superior Mother from the Healers Order." She turned to address Leia. "You should teach your little soldiers some respect"

"Respect is earned, Orva. Maybe you should remember that" Leia casually snapped back. "You got here rather quickly"

"I was already here. I was escorting Sharazad. I was getting ready to leave when she came and told me Saya was here"

She finally turned to glare at Saya, making her want to shrivel up and die on the floor.

"Saya, you are returning with me. You will present yourself before the Elders and serve whatever penance they give to you"

"Penance!?" Rey snapped. "For being a captive!?"

"Leia, control your people!" The woman snapped to Leia.

"Rey is free to say and do what she wishes. As is Saya. You cannot force her to go if she does not want to"

"Saya has made lifelong vows to the Healers Order. She WILL be returning!"

All three women began to yell and argue, primarily Rey and the Superior Mother. Saya's hands went over her ears and she tried to drown out the screaming in her head.

Everyone was yelling and Saya wanted to scream herself. She knew she didn't want to go back. She never wanted to go back. But Rey wasn't going to help convince the Superior Mother of that. Saya cursed her silence. She desperately wanted to speak

" _Speak…now…"_

Saya froze. The voice inside her head had returned

" _It's time. Speak. It's time for you to be heard"_

Saya began shaking. She felt her body begin to crack as if someone was breaking glass inside of her

" _Speak! It's time for you to become who you should have always been!"_

Saya felt herself shatter into a million pieces and it felt as though windows throughout her entire body opened up

 _STOP! EVERYONE PLEASE, STOP SCREAMING!_

To Saya's amazement, they all did stop screaming. And now all were turned and staring at Saya.

Rey smiled at her. "Saya, I think we can all hear you"

Saya blinked and turned to Leia

 _You… You can hear me?_

Leia Smiled at her. "Yes I can"

Saya finally looked over to the Superior Mother and Sharazad, both gaping at her. She didn't even need to ask. Everyone had heard her.

Saya had never felt more powerful in her life. She felt it flow through her like waves of water.

Was this the power of the force?

Saya took a breath and stood tall, looking the Superior Mother in the eyes.

 _I will not go with you. I will not return to the Healers Order. My place is not with you anymore._

The Superior Mother's demeanor changed from shock to anger

"It does not matter that I can understand you! You have made vows that you are committed to for the rest of your life!"

 _I have broken the vows of the Healers Order. By right, have been immediately excommunicated._

The Superior Mother scoffed "I highly doubt that-"

 _I have taken a life. I killed a man aboard Snokes Ship_

The Superior Mother looked taken aback "You lie!"

"She isn't! I saw it myself!" Rey quickly interjected. "It was self-defense. She also helped defend the Falcon from the First's Orders TIE fighters"

"Then-then that can be forgiven!" The Superior Mother stuttered. "It can simply be part of your penance to-"

 _I have broken the other two sacred vows as well_ Saya said slowly turning red.

She didn't want to reveal her secrets. But it seemed to be the only way she would free herself from the Healers Order and from the Superior Mother.

"Oh no you haven't-"

 _I have broken the vows of no marriage and celibacy. I have married and am no longer a virgin._

Saya forced her eyes to focus on the Superior Mother and not Leia and Rey who seemed to be looking away, also blushing.

"You… you have not!"

 _I have. And yes, it was consensual. I was not forced by any means_

That was mostly true. While she was tricked into marriage, the loss of her virginity was completely her own doing.

The Superior Mother and Sharazad gaped at Saya as if she had three heads

"You… How could you do this!? After all we have done for you!?"

Saya finally snapped

 _DONE FOR ME!? YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING FOR ME!_

Saya, for the first time in her life, witnessed the woman who had made her life a living hell shrink away from her. It was then Saya realized how small and old she really was. No, this old woman had no control over her anymore.

 _You have done nothing but torment me my entire life! You made me feel like I was nothing! You lied to me about being the cause of the Jedi temple burning all those years ago! You have ripped me apart and used me for my entire life!_

Rey stepped up next to Saya and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Saya, there's something else you should know…"

She glanced over to Rey while the Superior Mother shook in rage

"Saya… years ago Skywalker approached the Healers Order and asked to train you to be a Jedi. You have so much power of the Force within you! But they refused to let you go with him"

Saya slowly turned her head in rage to the old woman

 _It is true… Did he really want to train me to be a Jedi?_

The Superior Mother tried to stand tall again.

"You were born to be in the Healers Order! He had no right to you-"

 _You made the choice for me! How dare you! All my life I have felt like I didn't belong anywhere! I could have belonged to the Jedi Order! I could have been training all this time to understand who and what I am!_

And, she dare not think it so they could all hear, she could have maybe have been with Ben. Perhaps none of this never would have happened.

"That is enough Saya!" The Superior Mother was clearly trying to take control of the situation again. "What's done is done. You will perform your penance and-"

 _I'm not going anywhere with you! That is my final decision!_

"You must return! You have no choice!"

Rey also had enough of the old woman. "WHY!? She just told you she broke all of your vows and you keep demanding she still return!? Why!?"

The Superior Mother looked to the ground and clenched her fists

"The Healers Order is dying. Saya, you are the last of us that has the true power of the Force that can heal people. You MUST return and follow the path we have for you or the Healers Order will crumble apart!"

Saya took a breath and waited for the Superior Mother to meet her eyes once more.

 _If you had shown me even an ounce of kindness in my life, I may have followed you back. You have taken every choice away from my life. It's my turn to finally make my own choices._

Saya turned to General Leia

 _General, I don't know how this works. I don't know if there are any vows or tests I need to do, but if you will have me I wish to join you and the Resistance. I want to learn all I can. I want to fly! I want to learn how to shoot and use weapons! I want to learn it all!_

Leia stood tall and smiled at her. "No vows needed. I accept you into the Resistance with open arms Saya"

Saya smiled and turned back to the Superior Mother, who was scowling in fury.

"This isn't over Saya! You will return to us eventually! And you will pay for all of your insolence and defiance!"

Leia stepped up and placed a hand on Saya's shoulder. "Saya is now under the protection of the Resistance. You need to leave, now"

The old woman and Sharazad glared at the three women standing tall in front of them

"The Healers Order withdraws all help and neutrality from the Resistance! We will no longer assist you in any way!"

Leia shrugged. "Doesn't bother me. I believe I requested a healer from you three different times and was refused. Though I suppose I finally did get a healer from you. And the most valuable one, at that"

The old woman screamed in fury and stormed out of the room with an angry Sharazad following her.

All three women took a breath and Saya fell down onto the couch.

Never once had she ever stood up for herself like that. It felt good. And she finally felt free for the first time in her life.

Rey sat down next to her. "Saya, we can work together and learn about the Force and the Jedi! I just learned not to long ago I have this power too. Maybe we can work together and bring the Jedi back!"

Saya blinked. Never once did she think she would ever in a million years become a Jedi

"Rey, I think Saya needs to rest. This has been an ordeal for everyone. Let Saya have some time, please."

Rey stood and nodded. "Yeah, sorry. Your right. I'm going to go see how the others are doing."

Rey hurried out of the room looking embarrassed for whatever reason Saya could not guess. She stood to also leave but the General stopped her.

"Saya, I have to ask. You told Orva you were married. Who did you marry aboard the First Order?"

Saya went pale again and began to shake. She should have kept her mouth shut about that.

Leia lifted her hand and gently cupped Saya's cheek.

"Many years ago, my brother Luke was training my son to be a Jedi. During his training he told me of a young girl who had fallen in love with him. A young healer in training on the same planet. And he loved her as well. Was that you?"

Saya looked at her and realization spread across her face

 _You... You're…_

Saya couldn't even finish before Leia pulled her into a hug

"It's nice to meet my daughter-in-law"

Saya hugged her back and began to sob

 _I'm so sorry! I tried so hard to get him to leave with me! I wasn't good enough!_

Leia took a step back and wiped the tears from her face.

"Saya, you were probably the only one that kept him away from the Dark side for so long. It isn't your fault he turned. You were the only thing that kept his humanity alive"

They hugged again and Leia finally began to lead her out of the room.

"I think it's time we all had some rest."

 _General-_

"Please just call me Leia"

 _Um, Leia. Please don't tell anyone about me and Ben. No one else knows but you and Rey._

Leia nodded. "Yes, I think that's best for now. You have my word I will not tell a soul"

Saya smiled and followed her to the rest of the Resistance.

Before they entered the large room with everyone chatting away and eating the food that was in front of them, Saya stopped and looked out the large set of windows. A large white moon was over the planet. It was beautiful.

Saya said a small prayer to herself.

 _Ben… I pray you come back to me. You promised to take me to see the ocean someday. I'm still holding you to that promise…_

She didn't know what would happen from this point on in her life. But she knew one thing was for certain:

This was where her true journey had begun.

To be continued…

-!-!-!

Hope you all enjoyed! The next part of Ben and Saya's story will begin soon! Please review and let me know what you think!


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